Jan4

I’m still not ready

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Monday 4th January

“I’m still not ready to accept that you are gone ………. I’m workin’ on it, but I have to admit, that day has not arrived yet.
Maybe it never will.”

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The pain I feel is not as piercing now
Silent screams are beginning to fade
Sorrow becomes a dull, monotonous ache
Tears are no longer a flowing cascade.

Today there is just a vast emptiness
Where once was vibrancy, passion, hope
On my shoulders, a weight of loneliness
I’ll stumble through, trying hard to cope.

In life, you were a huge bundle of energy
Demanding, all-consuming and intense
Always kept on our toes to entertain you
The realisation you’ve gone is immense.

I will continue, go on, because I have to
I will get up every day, no other choice
I will always look back and smile
In all your memories, I will rejoice.

You’ll live on forever and for always
In the hearts of everyone you did touch
For you were a special, enigmatic soul
And we love and miss you so much.

Sweet precious Angel
xxxxx

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21 responses »

  2. Remember that you had, some can’t have, some are to ill to have. But you had your son, loved your son, did your best for your son. What you gave is still precious today, and an example to many. Keep doing your special x

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    • Thank you.
      How true are your words.
      He was ours, we loved him so much, we tried to do everything we could for him, the very best, and I will continue to cherish all the memories we have.
      I will try my hardest to ‘keep doing my special’
      xx

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      • I never really thought of it that way.
        In the beginning it was a diary for me to remember dates and treatment, for myself initially, and then my son.
        And then it became a way of dealing with his loss, and writing about my feelings. It was therapeutic for me.
        Thank you x

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      • People will want to know how you have dealt with things, how you dealt with the hurt, people will find it reassuring that someone has come out the other side. I am sure just this sentence has given you so many blog ideas. Sending you positivity… X😊

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree with fonzandcancer, M. You will turn and grab the hand of one who comes along behind and be able to walk with them through this. It was the only way I survived and moved forward.

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