Shine your light


Friday 9th December

My darling Angel

Shine your light

Sparkling bright

Into the night

As you take flight

At twilight

Sharing the moonlight

A beautiful sight

Among the starlight

So goodnight

Sleep tight

Darling, darling Angel.


Your solar-powered snowflake at twilight

Eartha Kitt


Wednesday 7th December

Probably as a result of enjoying the sixties television programme, Batman, you became fascinated with Eartha Kitt, who played Catwoman. An evil, feline antagonist, with a gloriously sultry voice and distinctive purrrrrr. You loved her outfits, catchphrase and those long, long nails.


More supermarket Christmas songs playing today, and they send the memories of you flooding back. You loved these happy December days, full of surprises and anticipation of what Santa might bring.

At this time of year, you sang along, swaying your hips, whenever you heard Eartha Kitt’s rendition of Santa Baby. A gentle, old-fashioned tune, listing requests for extravagant Christmas gifts. A favourite of yours.


“Been an angel all year”………

And yes, you have been an Angel for all of this year. 

My little Angel in heaven. 

My darling sweet child. 

My son, my heart, my soul.

Love you forever.


Just a blur


Tuesday 6th December

Last Christmas was just a blur

Everything happened around me

This year it’s much more acute

I’m facing the stark, cold reality.


Shock and numbness have worn off

And sadly, in view for all to see

My broken heart is missing a piece

You’re no longer here with family.


I seem to be reminded every day

How much you enjoyed the holidays

All the lights, glitter and sparkle

You should be here for always.


But all is quiet, no joyful laughter

There’s just a great, big empty space

One vacant chair, waiting for you

To sit down, and take your place.


But we’ll keep talking about you 

And I’ll certainly keep talking to you

Your presence remains everywhere

Our love will help me to get through.


Treasured Angel

Moon and beyond

Alive in our hearts

A precious bond.



Lonely this Christmas


Monday 5th December

Supermarket music

Set me off today

“Lonely this Christmas”

The speakers did play.

As I thought of you

My heart skipped a beat

You won’t be with us

Just your empty seat.

A sad reminder

Of what we once had

Missing you so much

Dearest darling lad.




Sunday 4th December

Time is so precious

Just use it well

Tell your loved ones

In your heart they dwell.


You cannot get back

That which is lost

It won’t be found

Not at any cost.


So hold on tight

To memories of love

Keeping them alive

Never let go of.


Love you my Angel

Remembering the fun

You brought to our lives

Dearest darling son.



Nan sitting down to a Christmassy Sunday lunch

Your cousin about to let go a squeaky balloon

Dad and I ~ Dad wouldn’t wear his party hat

Your auntie wore her hat

Me, wishing you were here

Would make you better


Saturday 3rd December

CBOP BEP cytotoxic chemotherapy.

We told you the treatment would make you better.

On this day, two years ago, you began the treatment that would ultimately take you from us.

We told you the treatment would make you better.

Radical, aggressive chemotherapy for poor prognosis germ cell tumours.

We told you the treatment would make you better.

You took everything in your stride; no moaning, whining or arguing.

We told you the treatment would make you better.

A week at a time in hospital, with dad and I sharing overnights to stay with you.

We told you the treatment would make you better.

Ninety nine days you endured.

We told you the treatment would make you better.

Why, why, why?

You should still be here.



With us.

Planning for the holidays.

I miss you so very much.

Love you my darling Angel.


The Hickman line went in without problems

Dad feeding you grapes

Saline going in, prior to the chemotherapy. You would sit for hours, looking at the internet, reading about your favourite programmes and cartoons



Thursday 1st December

December holidays

And festive fun

Becoming excited

Getting things done.


Trees in windows

Lights in the shops

Santa and reindeer

Flying over rooftops.


Laughter and smiles

Childlike elation

Eyes wide with wonder

Full of fascination.


You loved this season

The crisp time of year

But I’m left wishing

That you were still here.


My December sweetheart

On high you soar

With Angel wings 

Love you forevermore.


It’s Thursday again

Ninety long weeks

I really do wish

I could kiss those cheeks.



Fly high sweet Angel


Wednesday 30th November

Fly high sweet Angel

Fly free my darling

Way above the clouds

Where stars are sparkling.

You’re never alone

With brave wings you fly

Over the rainbow

In heaven you lie.

Missing you so much

Loving you forever

My darling Angel

Forgetting you, never.


Clear and chilly at the slipway today