Monday 31st August
“Pretend I haven’t gone anywhere
and share everything with me.
I can hear you!”
We spent a long while with you at your graveside this morning. Dad decided to sand and varnish your simple wooden cross as it was losing it’s sheen with all the wet, dull weather we have been having. Soon we will have a proper headstone for you, but in the meantime, the wooden cross with the brass plaque serves you well.
We do talk to you constantly, as if you can hear us. Round about eleven thirty, the aeroplanes make their way across the sky, westwards, towards America. They leave their dissipating vapour trails as we look up, and we wonder if you are aboard, headed for Florida, and which theme park you’re going to today. Or we speak to you about your brother and his girlfriend, and how they are getting along. Sometimes we moan about the weather, but it wouldn’t bother you at all: coat on, hood up, and off you’d go for a walk around the town.
We tell you all the time that we miss you so very much.
We tell you that we wish you were still here with us.
We wish we could see you, put you in the car, and drive away.
We wish we could still be looking after you, keeping you safe.
We wish we could travel with you, and share adventures.
We wish we could hear your voice, and listen to your laughter.
We tell you all these things and more. All the time.
If only you could hear us, and reply.
Love you forever my sweet Angel son.