Monthly Archives: June 2016

Jun30

I must try

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Thursday 30th June

I must try,
I must learn,
Not to live without you,
But to live with
The love,
The memories,
The precious moments,
You left behind.

But I’ll never really
Get used to
Being without you.
It’s so hard
To face the fact
That you’re gone.
You’re not coming back.

What we’ve lost
Cannot be returned.
So we look around
Trying to see signs
That you’re close by.
To find you
In what remains.

Loving you forever
Missing you every day
Thinking of you constantly
Trying to put a smile on my face
When there are tears in my heart.

xxxxxx

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The view with dinner, through the doorway, across the terrace, to the harbour

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Dinner with Dad and your brother

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Low tide and grey skies

Jun29

In my dreams

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Wednesday 29th June

In my dreams
Sadness is far away
In my heart
Is where you stay
In my thoughts
I miss you every day
In my mind
We laugh and play
In my head
You chase away the grey
In my soul
Keeping the demons at bay
In my subconscious
I love you forever, I say.

Sleep tight, sweet Starman
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

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Jun28

Wonder

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Tuesday 28th June

I will always wonder
Who you might have been
What you would be like
How you would have grown.

And I sit here and whisper
I love you so much
And I try to believe somehow
You can still hear me.

You never, ever leave my mind
You are with me always
Our hearts beat in unison
That’s the way it will always be.

Love you sweetheart
Treasured Angel son.

xxxxxx

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Jun27

Port

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Monday 27th June

Just over a month after you were born, your grandfather came to visit from America.
He bought a gift for you.
Six magnums of lbv, (late bottled vintage) port.
Quite ostentatious, but that was Grandfather Hank all over.
Well, we were clearing out, under the stairs, and we came upon the wooden crate. It has been kept in the dark for over thirty years.
I’m not sure what we will do with it.
You didn’t like alcohol; in fact, many a time you would find a bottle in the fridge, open it, and pour it down the sink.
And laugh.
Wine, vodka, in fact anything alcoholic that you deemed was bad for us.
Hmmmm. Cat and mouse with the chilled beverages. You thought it a funny game. We were exasperated.

And now we’re left with individually boxed magnums, with your name on.
Ironic really.

I think you’d give a wry smile, but would you uncork the bottles and pour away the contents? Perhaps not.

Do we break open the crate and try a bottle?
Do we keep the bottles a little while longer?
Do we sell them?

Not sure.
I wonder what you would want us to do?

Perhaps Hank is up there with you, having a glass of port, and you are drinking your lemonade.
Swapping stories, laughing, smiling, planning new adventures.
I hope you’re having fun together.

Miss you Hank.
Miss you Frank.

Love you forever precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

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Low tide

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Surf school

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Jun26

More time

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Sunday 26th June

I just wish
We had had more time.
That is all, really.

More time to laugh
More time to travel
More time to love
More time to explore
More time to cuddle
More time to grow
More time to live.

To watch the sunrise
To see the waves break
To hear the birds sing
To smell the fragrant air
To taste new flavours
To touch your sweet face
To feel great happiness.

To be.

More time with you.

I love you.
I miss you.
I just wish.

xxxxxx

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Jun25

Seconds, minutes, hours

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Saturday 25th June

Seconds, minutes, hours
Days, weeks, months.
Over a year has passed
Flying by so very fast.

Numbness, heartache, pain
Loss, grief, sorrow.
So much sad emotion
So much love and devotion.

Memories, thoughts, stories
Nostalgia, recall, musings.
Many reminders of you
Filled with a love so true.

Affection, fondness, care
Love, hope, tenderness.
We gave you all we could
Dedication was understood.

Love and miss you always.
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

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Sunny harbour

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Jun24

Starman in the sky

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Friday 24th June

Your spirit soars on high
My little Starman in the sky.

Too soon to say goodbye
I often question, wonder why.

I will try not to cry
My falling tears I will dry

Because I know you’re nearby
Right there, in my mind’s eye.

My dearest sweetie pie
You really were a good guy.

And your spirit soars on high
My little Starman in the sky.

Love you.

xxxxxx

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A bright and sunny harbour

Jun23

Set in stone

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Thursday 23rd June

It really hits home
When it’s set in stone
Our Starman has flown
But you’ll never be alone.

Looking upon your name
And the dates that proclaim
Your candle lost it’s flame
And we’re left with the pain.

A tribute just for you
We whisper a quiet adieu
A peaceful place we come to
Saying how much we love you.

Sweet Angel son
Fly high Starman
Forever in our hearts.

xxxxxx

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Jun22

Some days

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Wednesday 22nd June

Some days
I miss you so much
It’s difficult to get moving.

Some days
The memories hit hard
And the tears flow freely.

Some days
My broken heart aches
For I know you’re not here.

Some days
Grief hits unexpectedly
Like a cold sledgehammer.

Some days
I think it’s all a dream
And the nightmare’s over.

Some days
I’m in a parallel universe
Holding your hand, laughing.

Some days
I’m back in time
And I saved you.

I love you my darling
Precious Angel son
Forever.

xxxxxx

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Jun21

Zennor

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Tuesday 21st June

An afternoon at Zennor
Sitting in the sunshine
In the Tinners beer garden
Looking out to the coastline.

Your brother fancied a beer
And we had a cappuccino
You’d have asked for lemonade
A brownie or a slice of gateaux.

Such a beautiful location
To sit and relax and chat
Watching the scudding clouds
Talking about this and that.

You’re always in my thoughts
Imagining you’re sitting here
I can put my hand on my heart
And then I know you are near.

Love you forever.

xxxxxx

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The Tinners Arms beer garden, looking across the fields to the sea

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Looking inland

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Zennor church behind the pub

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Across the hedgerows to the sea

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A patchwork of fields

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