Monthly Archives: July 2016



Sunday 31st July

I think of my boys

Night and day.

One is with me

One is in heaven.

So, I live in two places

Here, and where you are.

I love you both

With all my heart.

Moon and back

And all the world.


July 1990 (twenty six years ago). Waiting outside Jumbo floating restaurant, Hong Kong, (you, me and your brother)

The harbour this afternoon

Sammy seal

Looking for fish in the harbour

The beach


Saturday 30th July

It was a very busy day at the beach today. So many holidaymakers had pitched their tents on the sand, sitting back catching the rays, hiring surfboards, or throwing frisbees.

You were not one for lazing around, relaxing or sunbathing; you were always on the go, walking, reading, playing in the surf.

I’m not sure you would have enjoyed the beach today; far too many people and far too noisy.

Three years ago today we were in North Myrtle Beach, the sea was 30℃ and the air temperature 35℃. (I know this, as Facebook reminded me). We had spent a couple hours on the beach, early morning, before it became oppressively hot. By midday you had become bored anyway, and so it was time to move off, find somewhere with air-conditioning, and have some lunch and a cold drink.

Our shaded spot, beneath a parasol (three years ago NMB)

The beautiful ocean

Dad, you, and me. North Myrtle Beach, 30.7.13

We do miss you so much, and remember the many years we spent going on holiday to America. Starting off in South Carolina, then moving south to Florida, so you could enjoy the theme parks.

Thinking of you today, as always.

Missing you every day.

Loving you forever.

Sweetheart Angel son.


So very busy at the beach today

Not a lot of space left

Bright, blue sky today

Tonight’s sunset at 9:15pm

Towards the sky


Friday 29th July

Looking up towards the sky

Seeing the clouds trailing by

Blinking tears from my eye

And forever asking why.


It’s so hard, but I will try

To smile more, not to cry

Are you up there flying by?

Our Angel Starman up on high.



Wispy clouds

Our Starman Angel

Holding hands

Everything changed


Thursday 28th July


Everything changed

The day you went to heaven.

The fragility of life

Is much more acute.

That we must live

Like there’s no tomorrow

Is undeniable.

Living life to the full

But taking your memory

Everywhere we go.



Another busy day at the beach

Through the flowers, to the sea, having fun in the surf

Memories are all I have


Wednesday 27th July

Memories are all I have

But I do have so many

Better these I cherish

Than not to have any.


Those memories we made

Are precious and so special

Keeping them safe, in my heart.

My angel son, celestial.



Smiling, little face


Tuesday 26th July


I miss your smiling, little face

Spreading fun all over the place.

Such a wonderfully, cheeky grin

True happiness comes from within.

From a contented young chap

Who loved sitting on my lap.

To an innocent young man

Laughing as much as he can.

My sweetheart Angel baby

Now in heaven, playing safely.


Grey and muggy on the beach ~ lots of tents for shelter

Wish you were still here


Monday 25th July


I wish you were still here

Then I could hold you tight

I wouldn’t be sad anymore

Just to hear your voice

The sound of your laughter

Everything would be as it should

I still cry, I still hurt so much

I miss you every single moment

I stay awake thinking about you

I speak your name often

But you never, ever answer me

I do wonder what you’d be like today

I try to hold onto the love, not the loss

But every day I wish you were still here

My precious Angel son.




Sunday 24th July


500 long and lonely days without you

Without hearing your voice and laughter

Without seeing your face and smile


No more setting out your clothes

Putting toothpaste on your toothbrush

Or having dinner ready at six o’clock


No more planning holidays with you

No more childish fun and adventures

Travelling the world with you, no longer


And yet, it just seems only yesterday

When you fell asleep, went to heaven

That night is relived, over and over again


500 long and lonely days without you

Many wonderful memories left behind

Such a precious and special life you had


Love you forever

Sweetheart Angel son


Brightening up in the harbour, after early rain

Uncover a memory


Saturday 23rd July


Every day I try to uncover a memory of you

To share with the rest of the world,

To keep you alive in my heart,

To let you know you’ll not be forgotten.

I’ll keep talking about you, writing about you.

Finding your photographs and smiling,

Because you existed, were part of our lives, 

From a baby, toddler, child, teenager to a young man.

I want you to walk with us; silently, unseen,

But there beside us, always, in spirit,

Because that is where you belong.

My precious Angel son.


A grey, but muggy day at the beach

Sammy seal in the harbour tonight

Smile on my face


Friday 22nd July


Although I have a smile on my face

I’m really not in a happy place.

Look more closely and you may see

This person before you isn’t me.

A piece of my heart’s gone missing

So I spend all my days just wishing,

That you are at peace, flying high

Shining so brightly up in the sky.

Dearest Angel Starman of mine

I’ll love you till the end of time.