Tuesday 29th September

“Your Wings
Were Ready
But My
Heart
Was Not”

So very true.
I was just not ready at all to let you go.
Unbelievably unexpected.
Unthinkable.
No clues or symptoms.
Nothing.

To all intents and purposes things were improving.
Your tumours were shrinking.
One more infusion of chemotherapy.
That was all.
You were on day ninety nine out of one hundred days of treatment.
You had taken it well.
You did what you had to do.
You did what you were told.

We were making plans.
We talked to you about organising holidays.
Being able to get away.
Have fun.
Laugh.
To live your life.

But no.
It was just not to be.
Your body couldn’t take any more chemotherapy.
You fell asleep and didn’t wake up.
You went to Heaven.
Quickly and quietly.

And we are left behind.
Heartbroken.
Empty.
Lost.

We miss you like crazy.
We love you so dearly.
Now, forever young.
Sweet Angel son.
xxxxx

After-dinner walk tonight, just before sunset

High tide in the harbour at dusk

Your flowers today

Sunday 27th September

“Close your eyes and touch your heart.
That heartbeat you feel is yours and mine.
Together we will always shine.
I am not gone, I have only changed.
When you wish for me to be there,
Just close your eyes and feel me near.
…………… Your Angel.”

Such lovely words.
Do I believe them?
I have to.
That’s all I have.
Hope.
Faith.
That you are with me.

Love you forever sweetie pie.
xxxxx

Saturday 26th September

“Those we love
can never be more
than a
thought away…
for as long as there’s
a memory
they live in our
hearts to stay.”

And you, my darling son, are never, ever more than a thought away…
Whatever we are doing…
Wherever we may be…
Whoever we are with…
Whatever time of day…
You are always with us, close by, in our hearts and minds, in our heads and thoughts.
We miss your physical presence enormously; your voice, your laughter, your cheekiness, your routines.
Every single thing about you.

Fly high my beloved Angel son
xxxxx

Friday 25th September

“Time slips by and life goes on,
but from our hearts
you’re never gone.
We think about you always,
we talk about you too,
We have so many memories
but we wish we still had you.”

I don’t know what it was today, but a memory of you came into my head.
You and dogs.
Growing up, you were terrified of dogs.
Whilst walking in the town, if a dog on a lead came towards you, you would choose to walk out in the road than actively stay on the pavement. I had to grab you quickly in case there was any traffic driving along. You would hide behind me, clutching onto my clothing. You really didn’t like the way dogs sometimes became over-excited, jumped up or noisily barked. You found that frightening and quite scary.

Slowly, though, as you grew older, you began to tolerate dogs; the ones belonging to your auntie and our next door neighbour’s. You might spend a while petting them, and you certainly didn’t run away from them anymore.

You did like the dog at the stables where you used to ride. In this photograph you look so peaceful and pensive. Not a care in the world, with no inkling of what was around the corner for you.

The dog from the stables

We love you so much.
We miss you every single day.
I’m sure the stable dog is missing you too.

Sending you kisses and cuddles.
Sweet Angel son xxxx

Thursday 24th September

“If I listen closely
I can hear the rustle
of Angels’ wings
And I know that
You’re still with us…”

So true, my darling.

Sending hugs and kisses,
Love and light.
Missing you as always
As I look up to the sky tonight.
xxxx

Wednesday 23rd September

I miss you.
Plain and simple.

In everything I do.
In everything you did.

We have to continue.
You remain forever young.

We age.
You stay the same.

Time moves on.
For you it stands still.

Our hearts continue to beat.
Yours is silent.

Memories are all I have.
Beautiful and oh so precious.

And still I miss you.
That will never, ever change.

Love you forever.
Angel son in heaven.

xxxxx

Tuesday 22nd September

“I am with you still.”

Such beautiful words, and would that they were true; then everything might be perfect.

I’m missing you today, so very much.
Love you forever.
xxxx