Monthly Archives: November 2015

Thinking of you, again

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Monday 30th November

Today your brother drove Dad and I to the ancient Roman city of Mérida, about forty minutes North of Badajoz.
The amphitheatre, arena and gardens were absolutely spectacular.
Mérida was founded in 25 BC, and preserves more important Roman monuments than any other city in Spain.

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The view from the entrance

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Roman remains

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The amphitheatre

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The stage

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Imagine gladiators, lions and other beasts in the arena

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Roman arch

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Roman columns

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Shadows

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Julio Cesar Augusto

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Entrance to the amphitheatre

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Columns and statues in the amphitheatre

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Livia, the wife of Emperor Augustus stands over the entrance to the amphitheatre

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Gardens and ruins of Mérida

Having left the amphitheatre, we drove to the road beside the river, and walked along part of the oldest, ancient Roman bridge, and looked at more ruins of the Alcazabar.

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Puente Romano over the river Guadiana

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Puente Romano

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Sitting on the oldest, longest Roman bridge

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You were posing in front of a statue of Romulus and Remus

Your brother then drove us back to Badajoz, just in time for dinner.
The sky was beautiful, at first with a few whispy clouds, then a magnificent fiery sunset.
A wonderful end to a lovely day.

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Big sky

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Fire in the sky

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Amazing colours

We do miss you my darling.
Our days are just not the same.

You would loved to have heard the stories of gladiators fighting the lions, or the emperor giving a thumbs down to the poor, losing opponent following combat in the stadium.

We wish you were still here, enjoying new places and sightseeing with us.

It’s just not the same.

Love you forever.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxx

You are missed

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Sunday 29th November

This morning we found a Starbucks in Seville for breakfast coffee, watched the trams glide through the plaza, listened to the horses hooves pull the carriages around and marvelled at an impromptu flamenco dancer and guitar player.

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Seville tram

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The view from Starbucks

Then we walked to the cathedral and wandered around inside.
The cathedral is the largest Gothic cathedral, and third largest church in the world. It houses an amazing art collection, with huge paintings by Goya, Murillo and Zubaran. We also stood at the tomb of Christopher Columbus’ son.

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The tomb of Christopher Columbus' son

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High ceilings

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Inside the cathedral

Magnificent ceilings, an impressive organ, many stained glass windows and massive doorways filled us with awe and wonderment.

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Gilded frieze

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Sunday morning mass

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One of the many stained glass windows

We then walked on to the Alcázar Palace and Gardens, home of the Spanish royal family when they are in Seville. Opulent architecture, elegant gardens, majestic walkways and fabulous water features greeted us at every twist and turn.

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Walking towards the palace

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Palace entrance plaza

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Arabic influences everywhere

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A superb mosaic ceiling

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Intricate outdoor embellishment

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Arches and porticos and colonades

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Wonderful mosaics

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Fabulous ceiling

All in all very cultural day exploring old Seville.
I’m not sure what you would have made of it, perhaps preferring more modern shops, bookstores and malls.
But you came along with us, every step of the way.

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Terrifically tall palm tree

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Blue skies

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Spiky tree

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Your brother and his girlfriend

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Fountain and an avenue of trees

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Mosaic bench

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Mid-morning snack with you

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Beautiful bouganvillea

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Fish filled pond

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Angel bear in front of the palace

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Family photo ~ with you on my lap

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Making our way back to the hotel

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A quick stop by the river before leaving Seville

Love you forever.
You never leave my mind.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxx

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Your flowers today

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A new robin at your resting place ~ kindly bought by your aunt

I miss you so much

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Saturday 28th November

On this date last year, we found out the extent of your cancer. Not only lung tumours, but brain tumours as well. Such an awful day. I remember it as if it happened yesterday.
This was the day when you were admitted to the hospital, and your treatment began.
This was the day when I spent two nights sleeping in a chair beside your bed…………
How I wish we could turn back the clock, and change the course of events……..

But here we are…..
And there you are……

We travelled to Seville this morning, and have spent the rest of the day exploring the old town, the cathedral, gardens, and ended up somewhere in a bar, down an alleyway, watching an authentic flamenco show.

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Old historic town of Seville

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Seville oranges

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Our hotel in the historic old town

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Balconies, mosaics, ironwork

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Palm trees and blue sky

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Seville old town

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In the plaza for lunch

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Angel bear and beer ~ of course you're with us

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Narrow streets

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The town hall

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Beautiful architecture

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Seville cathedral

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Inside the cathedral

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Inside the cathedral

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Seville cathedral

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Pink walls and Jasmine flowers

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Interesting alleyways

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Orange trees grow everywhere

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Narrow walkways and shops

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Fabulous tree trunk

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Magnificent doorway

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Narrow walkways

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Shops and restaurants

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You are always with us

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Busy Saturday night

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White and yellow

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Narrow streets

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Midnight people

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Your brother and girlfriend enjoying an evening cocktail

Love you so very much my darling.
Missing you like crazy.
Wish you were here with us.
xxxxx

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Your flowers today

You never leave my mind

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Friday 27th November

This morning we explored the old city of Badajoz , where your brother’s girlfriend lives. So many narrow streets, terracotta tiled rooves, and castle battlements, plus the sky was an amazing azure blue. A very pleasant November day.

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The rooftops of Badajoz

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Plaza Alto

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The rooves of Badajoz

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Plaza Alto

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Narrow streets

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Graffiti on the walls of old Badajoz

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Balconies and wrought iron work

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The house where we are staying ~ as blue as the sky

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The house

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Lemon trees in the garden

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Palm tree in the garden

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And of course, you are with us too.

We miss you so much.
It would have been wonderful to have you here with us.
Exploring, new adventures, experiences, people, foods, language.
You would have a great time.
Love you forever.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxxx

Miss you everyday

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Thursday 26th November

Today was spent exploring the old city of Lisbon, and climbing to the top of Castelo di Sao Jorge. Spectacular views of the rooftops, churches and river beyond could be seen. It was an exceptionally clear, blue sky day, and much warmer than normal.

We took the little Angel teddy bear with us, so you could be there too. I think you would have liked to explore the castle. There was even a tour guide dressed up in a suit of armour complete with metal helmet.

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Angel teddy on the battlements of the castle

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Looking out across the city

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Angel teddy at the Castelo de Sao Jorge

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Inside the castle walls

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On the battlements again

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Peacocks in the castle grounds

After the exploration of the castle we took a tram ride around the city, through steep, narrow cobbled streets. We saw many restaurant and cafe tables on the pavements, sheltered with large parasols, tuk tuks weaving in and out of the traffic, and of course many tourists enjoying the unseasonably warm, sunny weather.

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Lisbon tram

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Tram coming down the cobbled street

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Our morning libation, complete with ice cream

You would have loved the ice-cream ~ kiwi and rum raisin.

Late afternoon saw us leaving the city and heading east to your brother’s girlfriend’s house across the border in Spain. A wonderful sunset accompanied us, followed by the rising of the full moon.

I wish you could have been here with us too.
I miss your fun and cheekiness as we explore new places.
You would have loved the sights, sounds and smells of Lisbon.

Love you my Angel.
Sleep tight darling.
xxxxx

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Your flowers today

Every day

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Wednesday 25th November

“Do I miss you?
Every day.”

After much deliberation of shall we, shan’t we, ummming and arrrrring, we decided to get away for a few days.
And so here we are, in Lisbon.

We left Exeter yesterday afternoon, and stayed overnight in an airport hotel in London.

We have come to visit with your brother and his girlfriend. He has wanted to see us for a long time now, and had pestered us into flying out for a few days.
His girlfriend lives in Spain, two hours East of Lisbon.
You would have liked to travel with us, never having been to Spain or Portugal before, and it is only a quick two hour flight from London.
But we have brought you here, with us, in our hearts forever.
And the Angel teddy bear came out with us tonight for tapas and a beer.

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Angel teddy in Lisbon

I somehow feel guilty coming away without you, leaving you behind.
But you are with us, aren’t you?
And my sister will be visiting your resting place, tending the flowers for us, for you.

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Your flowers today

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Love you so very much my darling.
xxxx

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Hope

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Tuesday 24th November

Hope….  
Sometimes that’s all you have
when you have nothing else.
If you have it, you have everything.”

Today I travel to the hospital where I had the lymphadenectomy, two years ago this month. The lymph nodes at the top of my left leg were removed, as the cancer had spread from the original mole, The Alien Blob, on the top of my left foot. This is my month 24 check up on the Combi-Ad trial, for the adjuvant treatment of stage three malignant melanoma.

My first appointment is with the dermatologist, and she spots a Basal Cell Carcinoma on my lower left back that needs to be removed, so we’ll organise a date for that later. She wanted to do it there and then, but I have other appointments to attend today.
Time to get dressed.

Next I go and see my lovely trials nurse to be weighed, blood pressure, pulse and temperature taken. I also fill in a Quality of Life survey. Hmmmmmm.

From there we head down to x-ray for a CT scan of my thorax, abdomen and pelvis. After a fairly long wait, I’m called through, cannula and contrast inserted, and the imaging starts.
Time to get dressed.

Having finished that delightful experience, I can now have something to eat ~ no food is allowed four hours prior to the scan.

My final stop is with the oncologist, all seems well, and I don’t need to be seen for six months.
Time to get dressed.

So there ends my month 24 visit. Careful monitoring, checking and scans, keeping vigilant, a good deal of crossing fingers, and hope, and then I can breathe easy.

So that was my day, my darling.
We came to see you early this morning, before we set off.
For some reason Dad and I both broke down, and sobbed.
So many thoughts going around our heads.
We miss you so very much.
If only…..
Why…..

It is late afternoon as we set off from the hospital and drive away; we have the light of the full moon to guide us.

Is that you up there, smiling down, wishing us well on our way?

We love you to the moon and back.
And all the world.
Around the stars
And all the planets.

Sweetheart Angel son.
xxxxx

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Never want to lose

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Monday 23rd November

Memories
A way of holding onto
the things you Love
the things you Are   
the things you never want to
Lose”     

And we have so, so many memories of you.
We will remember everything you love,
We will hold onto all the things that you are,
And we’ll keep on remembering,
Because we don’t want to lose those precious memories.

So, we’ll take you everywhere we go,
Safely wrapped within our hearts.
No matter what, you walk beside us.
And you’ll be there at night, in our dreams.

We miss you my darling.
Love you more than words can say.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxx

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New flowers today

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A Christmas robin decoration for you

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Golden yellow

Missing you, still

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Sunday 22nd November

My baby, my child.
I thought of you
And then I smiled.

Lovely boy, sweetie pie
You’re an Angel
Up in the sky.

Pleasant chap, good lad
Now you’ve gone
I’m feeling sad.

Sweetheart, kind soul.
The emptiness
I can’t control.

Young man, gentle fellow.
No longer hear
Your morning ‘hello’.

Cute kid, nice guy
Was far too soon
To say goodbye

My son, little one.
Loved and missed
By everyone.

Love you forever
xxxxx

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Big clouds and surf

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Big clouds and boats

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Big clouds and blue sky

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The old lifeboat

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The new lifeboat

Someone who was once there

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Saturday 21st November

“It hurts
every day,

the absence
of someone
who was
once there.”

On this date last year you had surgery to remove your left testicle following a biopsy where cancerous cells had been found. It was a long and wretched day for you, but we returned home hopeful that all the disease had been removed. We were told as much.

Little did we know what was to come.
The fight that you would put up.

And now,
All we have left are the memories of you.
Fabulous, marvellous, amazing memories.
But that’s all they are.
Memories.

No new memories will be made.
All the plans we were discussing.
When I think what might have been.
Your absence hurts so very much.

So now I hold you in my heart.
And treasure all those memories.

Thinking about you always.
Missing you constantly.
Love you forever.
My dear sweet Angel.
xxxxx

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