The Results

Standard

Monday 10th June

The CT Scan results have come back clear. The melanoma has not spread to other body organs.

The big black cloud that has been hanging over me for months has now turned into a fluffy little white cloud.

Not totally out of the woods, as it looks likely I will have the Sentinel lymph node biopsy at Exeter at some stage ~ will know more on Friday when I see the consultant who will refer me. I’ll also have check ups every 3 months. BUT this episode has now passed, and I am so relieved.

Husband and I went to the appointment with hearts beating overtime, pulses racing, and tummy doing flip-flops. We also cried when we went in. Scared, not knowing what to expect, I somehow assumed the worst. All I could think of was the accepted thickness indicator, the fact that my melanoma measured 6mm, and a prognosis of survival being 37 – 50% for staying alive for the next 3 – 5 years. Not good odds at all. Having been told that the scan came back clear was the greatest feeling in the world. The massively heavy weight bearing down on my shoulders had been lifted. I was being given a second chance. Having arrived crying, we also left the appointment in tears; but these were tears of relief, of happiness, of joy.

Son was so happy and elated, too: the best news ever. His partner texted the following:

We are both so relieved. Just get the biopsy done and dusted, for peace of mind, then you can totally move on feeling blessed. Make sure you do learn from this awful experience though. It was a gift so you could fully realise you need to actually start enjoying your lives together now. We’re here for a good time, not a long time. Love you very muchly xxxx

Such lovely, tender, thoughtful words.

I still keep my leg elevated, and have it dressed twice a week. I have further appointments coming up. I will not be going back to work soon, and certainly will not be spending a week on the beach with a group of students, learning to surf.

I need to fully recover, to get back to feeling ‘normal’, before going back in the classroom. The nurse told me today that there is no point returning too soon, and undoing all of the healing process.

I feel so amazingly well looked after. Today’s consultant has rearranged her theatre list, and will do the wider excision on my back on Monday, 9am, just because I said I would prefer her to carry out the procedure and no-one else

Positive, positive, positive all the way.

A truly amazing end to the day.

Blessed.

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