Tuesday 19th November
One week ago today I had a left groin dissection to remove all the lymph nodes and surrounding tissue as a preventative measure to stop the spread of melanoma.
So, today has been a ‘duvet’ day; warm and snuggly under the covers, whilst the wind and rain beat against the windows. I feel much more comfortable in a reclining position anyway ~ well that’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it!
I have been thinking, and reading a lot about the trial I have been offered. I have so many questions/outcomes/what-ifs/then-what’s going through my head at the moment, as far as it is concerned.
I thought at first, when the Macmillan nurse told me about it, ‘Yes, I’ll do it’.
Then I started to read about the side effects, travelling for hospital visits, scans, and the fact that I might not even be taking the drugs, so I was like ‘No chance’.
Having read the comments from other people who are also on the trial (via the Facebook group), I now feel I may be swinging back to ‘Maybe I should give it a go’.
I really was rather worried about all the side effects, but it would make sense, that those listed apply to Stage 4 patients, as they haven’t tested ‘fitter’ Stage 3 ones yet!
I am beginning to feel more positive about putting myself forward for the trial now, even if you just get the increased monitoring, without the drugs, that must be a bonus.
I think I need to speak with my family doctor, Macmillan nurses and an oncologist as soon as I am able. But the more I think about it and read the information, I am tending towards saying ‘yes’ to the trial.
The Macmillan nurse did say not to make a decision straightaway, as I am still recovering from surgery, am perhaps a little emotional, wait until I have the results from the groin dissection, and talk to as many informed people as possible. She said ultimately the decision must be mine, I must be selfish, and to think purely about myself, my life and family, to do what is best for me.
Still doesn’t make it any easier!!
So, I go to sleep tonight knowing that I have support from so many people, and they will help me in the decision I must make.