Thursday 11th December
I go to school all day, then travel to the hospital, arriving about 4:30pm. Son was really angry, aggressive, and swearing; he hit me, and told me to piss off.
“Can’t do this any more.”
“I want to die.”
“I won’t do it.”
I think he’s angry because of his situation.
He can’t move very far, is always plugged in, can’t have a bath, can’t sleep on his front, the chemotherapy makes him ill, and it’s plain boring just sitting all day.
He is angry, frustrated, cross, aggressive, full of pity, etc etc. He can’t see an end to all of this.
It took a while, but he eventually calmed down, and ate dinner.
After about an hour of “stuff” going in through his tubes, he wanted a wash down.
It’s tricky showering someone when you have to keep the water away from all the paraphernalia coming out of his chest. But we manage. Afterwards, however, the moist, hot air makes him sick, twice, unfortunately. But at least his hair is clean!
I leave my husband and son at 7:30pm and drive home. This is going to be a trying time for all of us. Patience, tolerance, support and understanding must abound. We are strong; we will try our hardest to get through this; we will beat this; we will never give up.