Wednesday 8th January

What a horrid experience for son’s day unit appointment this time round!

I was working, so husband and son got to the hospital at 9:30am, thinking it would be a couple of hours of chemotherapy.

But son had a temperature, high blood pressure, too high pulse, bloods were low, and he was extremely dehydrated. He needed loads of fluids before they gave him any chemotherapy: four hours of hydrating saline first. They eventually got home at 6:30pm after a long and tiresome day.

Son also has been prescribed sleeping pills to get him through the night; he has been quite tired and sicky over the last few days.

He really, really wants to eat, but then can’t as the taste or texture makes him retch. He is getting quite upset and scared.

Sometimes he gets cross, sometimes he just wants to hide away.

It’s dreadful to see him struggle.

Thursday 1st January 2015

Happy New Year to one and all.

We go back to the chemotherapy ward, but it’s only for my son to have a quick injection in his tummy to boost his immune system. It’s quick and painless for him, and soon we’re on our way home.

Let’s hope this year brings a turnaround to our fortunes as far as our health is concerned. I think both myself and my son have had quite enough, thank you!

Wednesday 31st December

A New Year’s Eve visit to a new area of the hospital so that my son can have a quick infusion of chemotherapy. The day case unit is busy, we are seen on time, my son picks a reclining chair by the window, and is soon hooked up to the toxic liquid that is hopefully shrinking the tumours in his body.

Everyone here seems friendly and kind; nothing is too much trouble. We are visited by a doctor and a dietician to check on progress and general health. It seems my son has lost over a stone in weight in a little over four weeks. He is prescribed some high calorie shakes with extra vitamins and minerals to give him a boost!

Four hours after arriving, we are ready to leave. Lunchtime beckons and son says he is really hungry. However he can only manage half a chicken nugget, three baked beans and one and a half chips, plus a few sips from a 7Up. A rubbish choice for lunch, but it’s what he fancied; when it arrived though, he just couldn’t face it. He says the taste in his mouth is horrible and metallic, and he has lots of little ulcers. Poor, poor chap.

Wednesday 17th December

The final two days of term pass quickly. On Wednesday I drive to the hospital to visit with my son and husband, staying for a few hours, then back home to a dark house. Thursday we do a swap, I stay in the hospital whilst my husband comes home.

Friday morning sees us discharged early and we head for home. My son is so tired and spends the next three days in bed, eating very little and being sick. The chemotherapy seems to have hit him hard this time. He wants to eat, but can’t keep food down and says he has a metallic taste in his mouth.

By Monday he has perked up a little, and we actually manage some fresh air and a slow walk down to the town. This has done him good, and he finishes the day with some tomato soup.

Thursday 11th December

I go to school all day, then travel to the hospital, arriving about 4:30pm. Son was really angry, aggressive, and swearing; he hit me, and told me to piss off.

“Can’t do this any more.”

“I want to die.”

“I won’t do it.”

I think he’s angry because of his situation.

He can’t move very far, is always plugged in, can’t have a bath, can’t sleep on his front, the chemotherapy makes him ill, and it’s plain boring just sitting all day.

He is angry, frustrated, cross, aggressive, full of pity, etc etc. He can’t see an end to all of this.

It took a while, but he eventually calmed down, and ate dinner.

After about an hour of “stuff” going in through his tubes, he wanted a wash down.

It’s tricky showering someone when you have to keep the water away from all the paraphernalia coming out of his chest. But we manage. Afterwards, however, the moist, hot air makes him sick, twice, unfortunately. But at least his hair is clean!

I leave my husband and son at 7:30pm and drive home. This is going to be a trying time for all of us. Patience, tolerance, support and understanding must  abound. We are strong; we will try our hardest to get through this; we will beat this; we will never give up.

Wednesday 10th December

I drive to the hospital after school today to visit with my husband and son. Both are getting along incredibly well, strangely enough! Lots of patience and understanding is needed if you’re in one room with each other all day and all night long. Plus, whilst on the six hour bag of cisplatin, urine output must be measured and recorded. As my son can’t do this, it is left up to my husband or myself to take the ‘pee pot’ each time, pour it into the measuring jug and make a note of the volume! Such a delight!

I stay just over three hours, then drive back home and prepare for school tomorrow. A long day.