Special needs | The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son)

Tuesday 28th April

We bought two new plant pots for you today; a pink and a yellow dahlia. They just caught my eye as we were shopping, and I thought they’d look pretty on your grave.

When we walked up to where you are, it was quickly noticeable that someone had been to visit you. A very bright, fuchsia-pink camellia had been placed in the earth, with its shiny green leaves arranged just so. Upon looking further, I saw another white camellia flower placed on one of the letters of your name.

Who was this mystery visitor? Do you know them? Did they stay long and talk to you? I wonder who it was who took time out of their day to come and see you.

Somehow I feel quite sad, but also touched that you are being remembered by someone in this way. I wonder what you meant to this person?

Sunday 26th April

Having come to visit you today and standing by your grave, it is so difficult to say goodbye and walk away. It’s as if we are turning our backs on you, and carrying on as normal, without you.

That is so far from the truth. We are struggling to cope with the adjustments we are having to make. We believed you would always be a part of our family life. That we would always be together. Planning days out, booking holidays, having fun, looking after you. Much of the last thirty years was centred around you. Our son. With special needs. A loving, caring, gentle child.

It is natural for us to have wanted you to remain with us forever. That was how it should have been.

You have been taken from us, but the love we have for you will never ever be taken away. The depth of our love for you, that all your family, friends and acquaintances had for you, will ensure some things will live on forever; memories, events, and that special place that you hold in many peoples’ hearts.

Love you lots.

To the moon and back.

Love you more.

And all the world.

xxxx