Sunday 24th January

I might be smiling
But I’ll never forget you.
You may catch me laughing
But you’re there, in my heart.
I’m making plans
But I’m taking you with me.
I’ll keep on keeping on
In your honour, in your memory.

I exist now, teetering on the edge:
The edge of then and now,
The edge of before and after,
The edge of together and apart.

Two emotions occurring together:
Hopefulness and heartache.
Delight and despondency.
Happiness and sadness.
Pleasure and pain.
Joy and sorrow.

I think of you, and I smile,
Then, all at once, I’m sobbing.
I recall an event, and chuckle,
Moments later, anguish.

A public mask, a private melancholy.

The new normal of coping without you.

I love you baby.
Missing you like crazy.
Beloved son.
Forever young.

xxx xxx