Thursday 2nd April
We go for a coffee with all the family, then walk along the seafront with just our younger son. He is very quiet and in a sad, reflective mood. He seems to be bottling up his thoughts and emotions, but we walk with him, stop and stand for a while watching families and dogs playing on the sand.
We have a cup of tea with him, then wander off home.
After much thought and great trepidation, we decide to drive to our local supermarket and coffee shop, where our elder son was so well known.
It’s three weeks this evening since he passed. So suddenly. So unexpectedly. So quickly.
It’s really hard to get out of the car, and go in through the doors. We are met by the coffee shop manager, who has become a good friend to us over the last few years. Hugs, tears, and empathy. We also bump into quite a few more people who express their shock at our loss. It felt quite uncomfortable walking round the aisles. I was almost pleased when we walked out, shopping completed. A big sigh of relief, being able to run away.
When we get home I phone the funeral director’s to ask if we can visit our son in the Chapel of Rest. Within ten minutes we are with him. We did promise him yesterday we’d be back today. And it was no easier. The pain we both felt as we looked upon him was unbearable. We just wanted to warm him up and bring him back to life. Our grief is just immense. We have lost such a huge part of our lives.
But we kept our promise. It was difficult and traumatic again for my husband to go in. But a promise is a promise, and our son would have wanted us to keep to our word.
Night night Angel xxx