Friday 17th April
I suppose there are going to be a lot of these ‘first times’, without you.
Well, today was your brother’s first birthday without you being here. And he did say that he missed opening a card from you. (Even though he knew I was really good at forging your handwriting!)
I was actually going to buy a birthday card from you; one with a lovely photograph of sunflowers, but I thought it might upset our younger son too much.
Anyway, we toasted your health, said how much we missed you, and we knew you were looking down sending kisses our way.
We cried as we walked home after having dinner, thinking of you, and how very much we wish you were still here.
We did go to your graveside this morning and talk about your brother and his birthday. We knew you would want to wish him a happy birthday. In your own way we knew you loved him, and he was so proud of you, too.
We just feel so lost without you. You were such a big presence throughout all our lives.