Sunday 19th April
You see, I’m back again. I don’t feel it would be right if I missed a day and didn’t write about you, or how I felt.
It seems as if it would be somehow disrespectful, or might mean that I didn’t care enough. And so here I am. And what to say, today? Not really feeling particularly positive at the moment.
Crying this morning because I miss your voice and your smile and your enthusiasm for the day ahead. Again when we light candles in the church and sit awhile. And again when we go to your graveside. Crying, sobbing, weeping.
We did love you so very, very much, and now that you’re no longer here, we are lost without you.
Time heals. Will it?
You’ll move on. Will we?
The pain will subside. When?
You’ll learn to readjust. Really?
Give grief it’s time. How long?
So many negative thoughts and feelings are flying around right now.
I do need to find some positivity in all this. I look at your photographs and smile with you, at all the fun we had together, traveling the world. We certainly packed in an awful lot of adventures throughout your thirty years.
Remember the good times. The laughs. The joy. The risks. Your happiness. Special moments. Amazing memories. Perfect holidays. Wonderful destinations.
We tried so very hard to give you as good a life as possible.
But nothing can take the pain away right now, thinking of how much we miss you being here with us. xxx