Friday 22nd September
Compartmentalising and coping
To stop the
Melancholy and moping
Putting on a
Daily mask and hoping
Others can’t see
The fear and foreboding
That I hide
In order to live without provoking
A tear, a sob
Collapsing in a heap, choking
But memories
Of you, bouncing back and exploding
So that I can
Go out, with a smile, strolling
My darling Angel
xxxxxx
22nd September 2012 ~ five years ago today
Off on a hack…..
Thursday 21st September
Is this it?
Is this how it’s going to be?
Nothing changes
Nothing will change the fact you’ve gone
Each morning’s the same
Each morning I know you’re not there
Over again
Over, and over again I’m reminded
Heartache and emptiness
Heartache and emptiness can’t be cured
It won’t go away
It won’t get better
It won’t come to an end
It doesn’t wind up and stop
Grief will be with us always
Grief will be a part of our lives
Grief wakes up with us in the morning
And goes to bed with us at night
Grief lives in our house
But you, my Angel
Live in my heart
Alive in my dreams
Always beside me
Somehow you’re there
Soaring above the clouds
To the end of the rainbow
That’s what I must believe
Fly high Angel son
Now forever young
xxxxxx
Harbour at low tide this afternoon
Wednesday 20th September
I just miss you
Pure and simple
Love you so much
No doubt about it
Never forgotten
That’s for sure
Treasured Angel son
xxxxxx
Our view with afternoon coffee, looking out over the tidal marshes
Tuesday 29th September
Missing you more every day
Life will never be the same
With Angel wings you flew away
Leaving us, our breath to reclaim
Though the clouds have turned to grey
Love in our hearts is set aflame
Soar high above the Milky Way
As towards the bright stars you aim
Sleep tight sweetheart
xxxxxx
Clear green sea
Liquid emerald
Porthmeor Beach
Big clouds over the harbour
Monday 18th September
Looking up to the sky
Talking to the clouds
Blowing kisses to heaven
Seeing your face in crowds
You’re all around, everywhere
Even as the dark night enshrouds
Love you my Angel
Dearest, darling son
xxxxxx
Safe harbour
Sunday 17th September
In the blink of an eye
The happiest of days
Became the emptiest
Turning everything sideways
And those moments in time
Etched deep on life’s highways
Rewind and replay daily
Thinking of yesterdays
Sweet memories do linger
My love forever stays
With you my Angel son
There in my heart always
xxxxxx
Harbour at high tide
Sunny corner, busy with holidaymakers
Saturday 16th September
Every time I think of you
My heart beats
Every time I remember you
I take a breath
Every time
All the time
Forever
With me
Precious Angel son
Now forever young
xxxxxx
Windy, cold and cloudy this afternoon
Friday 15th September
Just letting you know
Even as the cold wind does blow
I miss you
Just letting you know
Even as the hot tears do flow
I’m thinking of you
Just letting you know
Even as the twinkling stars glow
I love you
Beloved Angel son
xxxxxx
A chilly and windy Porthmeor Beach this afternoon
A calm harbour
Thursday 14th September
I walk back into the house
I miss you so much
I unpack all our bags
I miss you so much
I look at our holiday souvenirs
I miss you so much
I listen to the silence
I miss you so much
I smile at your photographs
I love you so much
I cuddle your toys
I love you so much
I remember our vacations
I love you so much
I think of all our memories
I love you so much
Sweetheart son
Forever young
Fly high Angel
xxxxxx
Wednesday 13th September
Despite being delayed for just two and a half hours, we were one of only two flights (BA), to head off for London yesterday evening out of Miami. We had a most comfortable journey, (some turbulence, which could have been Hurricane José), and flew along at times, at 700mph, and were back in London in seven hours fifty minutes.
And the temperature difference is oh so noticeable. It’s chilly here. Miami was 90°F yesterday morning, compared to today in England of 50°F, brrrrrrrrr, autumn seems to have settled in.
As we were about to check in, we were interviewed by representatives of the British Embassy, and had photos taken! I think they wanted passengers who were harried, anxious, and fretting.
We weren’t.
Stiff upper lip, and all that.
And chilled, relaxed, glass half full……
So there we are…… our first US summer holiday without you my darling. And we missed you so very much, went to many, many places that you knew and where you had fun, but we also explored new destinations. Orlando was strange, and difficult really, without you. So many years of fun and memories around each and every corner. It was hard. We missed your smiling face, infectious laughter, demands for outings here and there, and your constant presence around us.
Love you forever
My precious Angel son
xxxxxx
Sunset in the US
Sunrise in the UK
Settling in to the flight
South London below us
The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son) 