Wednesday 22nd June

Some days
I miss you so much
It’s difficult to get moving.

Some days
The memories hit hard
And the tears flow freely.

Some days
My broken heart aches
For I know you’re not here.

Some days
Grief hits unexpectedly
Like a cold sledgehammer.

Some days
I think it’s all a dream
And the nightmare’s over.

Some days
I’m in a parallel universe
Holding your hand, laughing.

Some days
I’m back in time
And I saved you.

I love you my darling
Precious Angel son
Forever.

xxxxxx

Tuesday 21st June

An afternoon at Zennor
Sitting in the sunshine
In the Tinners beer garden
Looking out to the coastline.

Your brother fancied a beer
And we had a cappuccino
You’d have asked for lemonade
A brownie or a slice of gateaux.

Such a beautiful location
To sit and relax and chat
Watching the scudding clouds
Talking about this and that.

You’re always in my thoughts
Imagining you’re sitting here
I can put my hand on my heart
And then I know you are near.

Love you forever.

xxxxxx

The Tinners Arms beer garden, looking across the fields to the sea

Looking inland

Zennor church behind the pub

Across the hedgerows to the sea

A patchwork of fields

Monday 20th June

I hope that you’re not lonely
Having the angels for company.
I hope you’re well looked after
Above the clouds quite heavenly.
I hope you look down and smile
As we look up so lovingly.
I hope you know we love you
And we miss you so incredibly.

Beloved Angel son
Now forever young
Precious little one

xxxxxx

Early evening surfers

Harbour boats

Sunday 19th June

I wish things could be different
I know I can’t change what is
But I can wish, can’t I?

I wish you were still here with us
I know you’re now in heaven
But I can wish, can’t I?

I wish you’d come down the stairs
I know that’s not going happen
But I can wish, can’t I?

I wish I could hold you once again
I know that’s only in my dreams
But I can wish, can’t I?

I wish you all the love in the world
Sent from my heart to yours
And so, I’ll keep on wishing.

Love you forever
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

Grey and wet, beach flags blowing in the wind

Less windy in the harbour

Saturday 18th June

Although you are no longer here
Your presence is all around.
The house may be quiet and still
And we can’t hear but a sound,
We know you’re up there playing
On the heavenly merry-go-round.
I’ll never be able to let you go
In my heart is where you’re found.

I love you my darling boy.
Fly high dearest Angel son.

xxxxxx

High tide in the harbour

Friday 17th June

“Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
‘Til it’s gone……..”

~ Big Yellow Taxi ~ Joni Mitchell ~
                       ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Universal Studios August 2010

And here you are, posing beside your big yellow taxi.
And now, you’ve gone.

And I miss you so much.

Love you forever sweetie.
Dearest Angel son.

xxxxxx

Thursday 16th June

So many reminders
So many little things
Recollections
Reminiscences.

Most often I smile
As I remember
The good times
Happiness you gave.

Sometimes, like today
A thought, sight, smell
Rekindles the knowledge
You’re not coming back.

And suddenly
Everything crumbles
The mask drops
The tears fall.

The pain never leaves
Mostly it’s hidden
Controlled
And contained.

But today it hit
So very hard
Without warning
Taken by surprise.

I’ll keep remembering
And hoping
For more smiles
Than the tears.

Love you forever
Sweetheart
Angel son
Flying high.

xxxxxx

Wednesday 15th June

I love you and I miss you.
I miss your laugh
And I miss your smile.
I love looking through photographs
And I stop for a while,
Thinking of how it used to be
When you were here with me.

I love you and I miss you.
I miss your voice
And I miss company.
I love stepping into your room
Where you should be,
Closing my eyes, dreaming
That you’re there, breathing.

I love you and I miss you.
That won’t change
Not in a million years.
You always will be my Angel son
Even as those tears,
Start forming once again
In my heart you will remain.

xxxxxx

Tuesday 14th June

Whilst clearing through some papers and old photographs, I came across a poem that you had written at Primary School.
You were ten years old in 1995 and were looking at pollution and creative writing.
An insightful and astute mind at work.

“The Dying River

I ran to the river.
I used to play there.
Sparkling river.
Like jewels in the sun.
Birds and fish were happy and healthy.
Blue, fresh and clean.
Then came the factory.
Pumping filth.
Poisons and chemicals.
Killing the fish.
Suffocating them.
The birds have left.
The rats have come.
Green, scummy and smelly.”

I wish you were still here; reading, writing, speaking and enjoying the written and spoken word.

I love you so much sweetheart.
Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxx

A cloudy afternoon at the harbour

Monday 13th June

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be missing you.

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be thinking of you

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be remembering you.

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be loving you.

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will feel your heart beating in mine.

My sweetheart Angel son.

xxxxxx