Thursday 16th June

So many reminders
So many little things
Recollections
Reminiscences.

Most often I smile
As I remember
The good times
Happiness you gave.

Sometimes, like today
A thought, sight, smell
Rekindles the knowledge
You’re not coming back.

And suddenly
Everything crumbles
The mask drops
The tears fall.

The pain never leaves
Mostly it’s hidden
Controlled
And contained.

But today it hit
So very hard
Without warning
Taken by surprise.

I’ll keep remembering
And hoping
For more smiles
Than the tears.

Love you forever
Sweetheart
Angel son
Flying high.

xxxxxx

Wednesday 15th June

I love you and I miss you.
I miss your laugh
And I miss your smile.
I love looking through photographs
And I stop for a while,
Thinking of how it used to be
When you were here with me.

I love you and I miss you.
I miss your voice
And I miss company.
I love stepping into your room
Where you should be,
Closing my eyes, dreaming
That you’re there, breathing.

I love you and I miss you.
That won’t change
Not in a million years.
You always will be my Angel son
Even as those tears,
Start forming once again
In my heart you will remain.

xxxxxx

Tuesday 14th June

Whilst clearing through some papers and old photographs, I came across a poem that you had written at Primary School.
You were ten years old in 1995 and were looking at pollution and creative writing.
An insightful and astute mind at work.

“The Dying River

I ran to the river.
I used to play there.
Sparkling river.
Like jewels in the sun.
Birds and fish were happy and healthy.
Blue, fresh and clean.
Then came the factory.
Pumping filth.
Poisons and chemicals.
Killing the fish.
Suffocating them.
The birds have left.
The rats have come.
Green, scummy and smelly.”

I wish you were still here; reading, writing, speaking and enjoying the written and spoken word.

I love you so much sweetheart.
Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxx

A cloudy afternoon at the harbour

Monday 13th June

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be missing you.

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be thinking of you

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be remembering you.

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will be loving you.

Every single day
For the rest of my life
I will feel your heart beating in mine.

My sweetheart Angel son.

xxxxxx

Sunday 12th June

New flowers for your grave
Placed with love and care
Standing beside you in thought
We whisper a little prayer.

It’s as close as we can be
To you, my darling boy
We hope your spirit knows
You gave us so much joy.

Rest peacefully, pain free
Flying high with Angel wings
Look down upon us and smile
And for you, the songbird sings.

xxxxxx

The Red Bull crew on the beach today, for the Swellboard Shootout

Saturday 11th June

A fragile heart is missing a piece
And what remains is broken in two
The pretence of daily happiness
Slowly taking its toll in all I do.

A facade of strength is what you see
Just holding together what remains
In truth it’s all but a clever act
Feels like I’m constrained by chains.

Missing you, my beloved son
Knowing you’re never coming back
Pains me so, so unbelievably
My life’s path has taken a new track.

Love you forever my darling.
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

Friday 10th June

I reflect on what was
I reflect on what is
I reflect on what might have been.

I must see and live with what is.
I can shape and change what will be
For the better.

But I still reflect on what was
And I will try and smile more
Reflecting on all the amazing memories.

Love you forever.
Missing you every day.
My darling Angel son.

xxxxxx

The harbour this afternoon

Wednesday 8th June

If I want to wish upon a star, which one is yours?
Among the constellations, our love surely endures.

When I look up to the obsidian heavens above
Searching for you, wanting to send all my love.

Are you the brightest, twinkling in the dark?
You always did want to leave your mark.

My little heavenly boy, flying on Angel wings up high
Leaving a sparkling trail behind you, in the night sky.

To the moon and back, around the planets and stars, too
My heart, my soul, and all my love, I give to you.

Missing you like crazy, my darling Angel baby.
Back together, eventually, we’ll be.

xxxxxxx

Tuesday 7th June

I came across these photographs today, and had to smile……
We were on holiday, with my father, in Tortola BVI, and you used to like putting on my sunglasses.
Strike a pose……

Such a sweetheart.
A happy little soul.
Cheeky monkey sometimes.

Missing you every day.
Love you to the moon and back.
Dearest Angel son.

xxxxxx