Friday 9th December
My darling Angel
Shine your light
Sparkling bright
Into the night
As you take flight
At twilight
Sharing the moonlight
A beautiful sight
Among the starlight
So goodnight
Sleep tight
Darling, darling Angel.
xxxxxx
Your solar-powered snowflake at twilight
Thursday 8th December
I think of you
All we’ve been through
Sometimes laughing
Other times crying
So many laughs
And photographs
We had such fun
My darling son
Sending you love
Dear Angel above
Kisses to you
Lots of hugs too
xxxxxx
Wednesday 7th December
Probably as a result of enjoying the sixties television programme, Batman, you became fascinated with Eartha Kitt, who played Catwoman. An evil, feline antagonist, with a gloriously sultry voice and distinctive purrrrrr. You loved her outfits, catchphrase and those long, long nails.
More supermarket Christmas songs playing today, and they send the memories of you flooding back. You loved these happy December days, full of surprises and anticipation of what Santa might bring.
At this time of year, you sang along, swaying your hips, whenever you heard Eartha Kitt’s rendition of Santa Baby. A gentle, old-fashioned tune, listing requests for extravagant Christmas gifts. A favourite of yours.
“Been an angel all year”………
And yes, you have been an Angel for all of this year.
My little Angel in heaven.
My darling sweet child.
My son, my heart, my soul.
Love you forever.
xxxxxx
Tuesday 6th December
Last Christmas was just a blur
Everything happened around me
This year it’s much more acute
I’m facing the stark, cold reality.
Shock and numbness have worn off
And sadly, in view for all to see
My broken heart is missing a piece
You’re no longer here with family.
I seem to be reminded every day
How much you enjoyed the holidays
All the lights, glitter and sparkle
You should be here for always.
But all is quiet, no joyful laughter
There’s just a great, big empty space
One vacant chair, waiting for you
To sit down, and take your place.
But we’ll keep talking about you
And I’ll certainly keep talking to you
Your presence remains everywhere
Our love will help me to get through.
Treasured Angel
Moon and beyond
Alive in our hearts
A precious bond.
xxxxxx
Monday 5th December
Supermarket music
Set me off today
“Lonely this Christmas”
The speakers did play.
As I thought of you
My heart skipped a beat
You won’t be with us
Just your empty seat.
A sad reminder
Of what we once had
Missing you so much
Dearest darling lad.
xxxxxx
Sunday 4th December
Time is so precious
Just use it well
Tell your loved ones
In your heart they dwell.
You cannot get back
That which is lost
It won’t be found
Not at any cost.
So hold on tight
To memories of love
Keeping them alive
Never let go of.
Love you my Angel
Remembering the fun
You brought to our lives
Dearest darling son.
xxxxxx
Nan sitting down to a Christmassy Sunday lunch
Your cousin about to let go a squeaky balloon
Dad and I ~ Dad wouldn’t wear his party hat
Your auntie wore her hat
Me, wishing you were here
Saturday 3rd December
CBOP BEP cytotoxic chemotherapy.
We told you the treatment would make you better.
On this day, two years ago, you began the treatment that would ultimately take you from us.
We told you the treatment would make you better.
Radical, aggressive chemotherapy for poor prognosis germ cell tumours.
We told you the treatment would make you better.
You took everything in your stride; no moaning, whining or arguing.
We told you the treatment would make you better.
A week at a time in hospital, with dad and I sharing overnights to stay with you.
We told you the treatment would make you better.
Ninety nine days you endured.
We told you the treatment would make you better.
Why, why, why?
You should still be here.
Better.
Alive.
With us.
Planning for the holidays.
I miss you so very much.
Love you my darling Angel.
xxxxxx
The Hickman line went in without problems
Dad feeding you grapes
Saline going in, prior to the chemotherapy. You would sit for hours, looking at the internet, reading about your favourite programmes and cartoons
Friday 2nd December
Simply missing you
Just out of the blue
To heaven you flew
Nothing I can do
How will I get through?
Because no one knew
Time on earth was through
To my Angel, adieu
With a love so true
xxxxxx
Thursday 1st December
December holidays
And festive fun
Becoming excited
Getting things done.
Trees in windows
Lights in the shops
Santa and reindeer
Flying over rooftops.
Laughter and smiles
Childlike elation
Eyes wide with wonder
Full of fascination.
You loved this season
The crisp time of year
But I’m left wishing
That you were still here.
My December sweetheart
On high you soar
With Angel wings
Love you forevermore.
It’s Thursday again
Ninety long weeks
I really do wish
I could kiss those cheeks.
xxxxxx
Wednesday 30th November
Fly high sweet Angel
Fly free my darling
Way above the clouds
Where stars are sparkling.
You’re never alone
With brave wings you fly
Over the rainbow
In heaven you lie.
Missing you so much
Loving you forever
My darling Angel
Forgetting you, never.
xxxxxx
Clear and chilly at the slipway today
The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son) 