Category Archives: Testicular cancer

May16

A special one

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Tuesday 16th May

  

I live every single day

Without my darling son

Won’t be able to see you grow old

He’s now an Angel, a special one.

  

Fly free

Sleep peacefully.

We love you so, so much

To the moon and back.

Love you more

And all the world.

xxxxxxx

  

May14

A beautiful day

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Sunday 14th May

   

The wedding party decided​ that a wonderful way to blow away the cobwebs, following yesterday’s celebrations, would be to go on a long walk around the manor house today. 

A six mile walk across rolling hills, high ridges, bluebell woods, farm tracks and cow fields. Such beautiful views, blessed with spectacular weather, we were so fortunate.

Upon return, we relaxed in the gardens, with Ploughman’s lunches, cakes, scones and clotted cream.

A special family weekend.

We missed your presence, my darling. You would have had fun, I’m sure.

Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxx

May13

A wedding

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Saturday 13th May

  

Today we went to a wonderful wedding at a manor house in the Dorset countryside.

Your cousin was married today, and I think you would have wished her well, and enjoyed the day in the sunshine. You would have explored the extensive gardens and the many drawing rooms in the house, filled floor to ceiling with books, artworks and pianos.

From Morris Men and cream teas, to croquet and cricket on the lawns, caricature portraits, photographs and Pimm’s, to dogs delivering the rings, dinner and dancing in the church, to a glitter bar and blazing fire pit. A whole day of marvelous fun and celebration in the sun.

Thinking of you, and missing you as always.

Darling Angel son.

xxxxxx 


May12

I held your hand

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Friday 12th May

   

I held your hand

‘Til it went cold

Wish I could have hugged you

As you grew old.

  

I cradled your head

And stroked your face

Wish you’d have opened your eyes

And returned​ my embrace.

  

Precious Angel son

Now forever young.

xxxxxx

May11

Angel in my heart

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Thursday 11th May
You are the angel in my heart

Though you no longer walk this earth

I know your spirit is by my side

And I’ll love you for all I’m worth.

  

You are the angel in my heart

But I know you’re up in heaven

Our memories will last a lifetime

And my love for you won’t lessen.

  

Missing you sweetheart

Darling Angel son.

xxxxxx

Grey clouds over the harbour

May9

Month 42

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Tuesday 9th May
  

Alarm goes at o-crack sparrow. I’m up early for my month 42 check-ups at two hospitals in Exeter. First appointment is with the dermatologist at 10:45am ~ thorough skin check of all my various moles, solar lentigo, actinic keratosis, seborrheic keratoses, dysplastic nevus and checking of scars from various surgeries to remove a malignant melanoma and lymph nodes, skin graft, biopsies and a basal cell. All seems ok, apart from some sun damage at the top of my forehead, for which I am given some cream: three days worth, that will take the top layer of skin off, repairing the damage.

My next stop is with my trials nurse ~ I am on the CombiAd trial, for the adjuvant treatment of Stage 3 Metastatic Malignant Melanoma. Bloods, weight, temperature, blood pressure and pulse, all duly taken and noted.

Then it’s on to the delightful CT scan with contrast, of the thorax, abdomen and pelvis. 

My final stop is with my oncologist, who can inform me, tentatively, that he sees nothing suspicious on the scan, but I have to wait for the official radiographer’s report, which will take about ten days.

However, I can finally leave, about 5:00pm, knowing that all seems well ~ with a massive sigh of relief. Breathe………..  

So, that’s it for another six months.

Wishing you were here sweetheart, to share with me. Wishing you had had good news, and were looked after as well as I am being cared for. 

Wishing……

If only…….

In hindsight……..

Why……..

Miss you more than ever

Darling Angel son.

xxxxxx