Forever and Forever

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Thursday 5th November

Bonfire night.
Remember remember
the fifth of November.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that date.

For it was on that day last year that you were admitted to hospital for overnight observation following days of sickness and headaches.
We had put it down to your fear of possible surgery, as you had been to the doctor, the Accident and Emergency department, and had had a couple of appointments with a urologist over the previous few weeks.
This was all because you had complained of a pain in your testicle, so surgery was a possibility if a lump was found.
For three consecutive days we took you to the local doctors’ surgery and were given anti-sickness pills and painkillers.
Your situation didn’t improve, so on the afternoon of the third day, Bonfire Night, we took you into hospital.

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My little sweetheart.

You didn’t complain, make a fuss, or moan.
We all thought you were going to be made better by the doctors and nurses.
But ‘observation’ is all that happened.
No tests were carried out, just normal checks on blood pressure, temperature, pulse and oxygen saturation levels.

So, little did we know what lay in store.

The pain.
The suffering.
The heartbreak.

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I'll hold you in my heart

If only…….
I wish……..
Perhaps……..
What if……..
Maybe……..
Why……..

I truly believe that you should have had a scan, on this hospital admittance, or many days prior.
The headaches and continuous vomiting should have flagged up serious concerns.
The tumours in your lungs and brain would have been identified, and treatment started, that much sooner, whilst you were perhaps stronger.

Hindsight………

And now you’re my darling little Angel, who gained his wings far too soon.

And I miss you more and more each day.

Love you always.
My darling son.
Angel baby.
Forever young.

xxxxxx

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