Friday 20th November
“Sometimes the smallest things
Take up the most room in your heart.”
~ winnie the pooh ~
Your uncle gave you a wonderful copy of Winnie the Pooh, soon after you were born, and you used to love hearing the stories. I read to you and your brother every bedtime for years, taking it in turns whose bed to sit upon, and which book to read.
Winnie the Pooh books provide so many inspiring and endearing quotes, words of wisdom and joy, but the one above, caught my eye today.
There are so, so many little things about you, that I miss so very much.
I have again been reading through cards that were sent to us when you passed away.
“We are so sad and shocked.
He was a much-loved son and brother who will be missed by so many people. We have known him since he was a baby, and have very fond memories of him.
You have been loving and caring parents, and have given him some wonderful travelling experiences in his short life.
Hopefully in time you will be able to look back at those times and find some peace of mind, and think of all the small things, and big things, you have done as a family.”
Small things and big things.
Yes, we have had many big adventures together, travelling the world.
But the little things about you…..
Like when we had finished our cup of tea, you would march into the room, pick it up, and deposit said cup loudly in the kitchen sink.
Or after Dad had had a bath, and left his towel over the bottom of the stairs, you would return it to the bathroom for him.
Or when you would insist that lunch is at twelve thirty and tea-time at six. And goodness me, if we weren’t in bed before ten thirty, then you’d want to know why.
If we went out shopping, you’d go off on your own, meeting up for lunch at a specified place, at a pre-determined time ~ even though you couldn’t tell the time, you could gauge the passing of time. And you were always spot on. We never knew how you did that.
Your shoes would always be placed neatly at the back door as soon as you came in. You didn’t have to be asked.
When you got up in the mornings, you would make yourself breakfast, and before you came back upstairs I had to have laid your clothing out for the day, and put toothpaste on your toothbrush.
Having Asperger Syndrome meant you liked to stick to a comfortable, safe routine.
And we too had that routine in our lives.
Your behaviour could be challenging and demanding, but you responded to fairness and reason (most of the time).
For thirty years we knew where we were, where we were going, and the consequences if the routine was side-stepped, for whatever reason.
We miss that routine that you imposed on our lives.
We miss your intense physical and emotional impact and presence.
All the little things.
The smallest things that were so important to you.
And yes, they do take up the most room in your heart.
Love you Angel xxxx