Thursday 3rd December
“Honestly, I spent today missing you,
And that is how I will probably spend tomorrow
And the day after that
And probably all the days after that too.”
It was on this date last year, the third of December, that you began your chemotherapy treatment; a most aggressive regime.
And I’ve been thinking about that a lot today.
Being away for the last week, sharing time with your brother in Spain and Portugal, I haven’t paid much attention to the radio, shops or news. Driving home from the airport today, and listening to the car radio, there is much talk of Christmas, and the playing of festive music; the stores are decorated with lights and trees; the countdown has begun.
But I’m just not looking forward to this time of year at all.
I don’t want to seem miserable and spoil it for others, but I would much rather disappear and come back in January.
I’m just missing you so much at the moment, with the festive season approaching. And coming back to the house, all quiet and empty, it’s such a change from when we all used to return after a holiday.
Thinking of you tonight.
Blowing kisses to heaven.
Love you forever.