Friday 29th April
Sometimes I really miss the things you did that made me smile.
I miss your impersonation of Beyoncé and wiggling to “Single Ladies”. You’d come into the room, ear plugs in, only wearing underwear, (you didn’t like the feel of clothing on your skin), holding your tablet, tuned into YouTube, and you’d be shaking your booty.
I wish I could see that now.
I miss going to bed at night, and unexpectedly finding two or three books shoved down the bedclothes, just in case I wanted a read in the middle of the night ~ it could have been Thomas the Tank, Star Trek or the Bible, depending on your mood.
I wish I could get into bed tonight and feel those books beneath the sheets.
I miss the little gifts you used to buy me from car boot sales: shiny jewellery, school books, dresses too big, shoes too small.
I wish you’d find something for me now.
I miss your voice saying “Good morning” or “Good night” or “What are we doing today?” You liked your routine, and needed the days mapped out for you.
I miss your laugh and giggles when something amused you.
I wish I could hear your voice now.
I miss your uncanny knack of being able to judge the passing of time, without being able to tell the time. When we’d go out, we would tell you to be in a certain place, (usually somewhere for food or a drink), and there you’d be, in exactly an hour, or two hours time. You’d wander off window shopping, or walking around a theme park, and without fail, you’d appear, bang on time.
I wish you’d turn up now.
I miss your amusing take on foreign languages, pretending you could speak fluently. You’d be the shouting Jamaican granny, waving her handbag around, (copying a strange lady we had come across in Tobago). Or you’d be the Scotsman commenting on the weather, full of “Och aye the noo”. Another day you’d be a little old Chinese lady, chasing her children around, or a Japanese samurai, practising martial arts, on us. Then you’d be a German, and every answer would be “Nein” or we would be “Schweinhund”, and you’d laugh at the literal translation of ‘pig dog’.
I wish I could hear your silly voices now.
I miss when you used to dress up and act like a drama queen. Sometimes you would put my clothes on, or try out my high heels. You looked ridiculous, but you really made us laugh. At school, you loved drama, and were in quite a few plays, dressing up as a genie, or as a master of ceremonies. Such fun you had.
I wish you’d come clip clopping into the lounge right now, wearing a pair of my shoes.
Your smiles, your laughs, your giggles, your cheekiness…….
I miss everything about you.
I wish you were here right now.
Love you so very much.
Darling Angel son.