Category Archives: Brother

Skateboarding

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Sunday 17th January

Your brother is in southern Spain with his girlfriend right now, staying in her grandmother’s house on the coast.
I had packaged up and sent out a skateboard to him and they sent this photo to answer my question about whether the parcel had arrived safely.

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Hmmmm, twenty eight years old and still skateboarding.
Oh well.

I think we gave you both your first skateboards for Christmas in 1990, when we were living in Australia.
You were five and your brother was three years old.
You weren’t too sure of this mode of transport, but your brother developed quite a flair for it.

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You, standing on the skateboard, being pushed by your brother. December 1990.

When we returned home to England two years later, the skateboards came too.
You used to like sitting on top, rolling down the garden path, sometimes crashing into the back door.

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You and Nan rolling down the garden path

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Skateboarding down the path with Nan

Such fun you had.
Grinning and laughing.
Again and again.
Up and down the path.

I miss your laughter so much.
Love you sweetie.
Angel son.
xxx

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Millennium memories

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January 1st 2016

Desperately holding on to the year that was;
The last year in which you were alive.
It will be so empty, without you.

Unable to turn the page on the calendar,
To close the last thirty years of your life.
Beginning a new year, without you

Making plans that won’t include you,
But still thinking of you the whole time.
And the house is quiet, without you.

Memories we have, to recall and smile,
So many memories to ease the pain.
But it will be so difficult, without you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As this new year begins, I recall an amazing adventure we had as a family at the dawn of the new millennium.
Sixteen years ago, my mother, brother and wife, sister, husband and daughter, and of course you and your brother, along with dad and I, spent two weeks in Florida as 1999 came to an end, and the year 2000 began.

Millennium morning after the day before . . . . .

“You must be joking ! I’ve never heard of anything so stupid” That was the response to my brother’s suggestion on New Year’s Eve.

“Who in their right mind would want to get up at a quarter to four in the morning, on the first day of the New Millennium ?”

I certainly did not.

Our initial plan for the last day of the old millennium had been to go to The Magic Kingdom and watch all the parades, fireworks and shows; but listening to the local radio we became increasingly aware that it would be impossible unless queuing began at the ticket gates before six thirty in the morning. As we had visited Mickey Mouse land on Christmas Eve, it did not seem too much of a disappointment to give up on the idea of going again. It would also have meant an incredibly long day, from seven in the morning until, probably two or three the following morning, trying to drive out of the car parks.

We eventually left our rental house at eight thirty in the morning on New Year’s Eve, and headed out onto Interstate 4 with the intention of driving to Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon. Fifteen minutes later we joined the biggest traffic jam ever as tens of thousands of people tried to get into Disney for the New Year’s Eve Celebrations, and the dawn of a new millennium. The State troopers had blocked off all the slip roads leading into the various theme parks and were directing people away. The Magic Kingdom and Epcot had both reached capacity, and could take no more visitors. But where would everyone go?

Hastily looking at the large map of Orlando that we had bought, we did a quick U-turn, joined another line of cars, turned left at the lights when everyone else had gone straight on, and began weaving in and out of resorts, hotels and car parks. We eventually made it to our destination three hours later! (The journey should have taken all of forty minutes). My sister had already arrived there an hour earlier, having decided to drive down a ditch and across some open grassland to join a different road. Brother on the other hand had given up and gone back to the house. After frantic phonecalls and garbled directions shouted from the poolside, we managed to persuade him to jump in the car and try a second attempt at reaching the Water Park. Which he did at long last.

We spent the whole day at Typhoon Lagoon; swimming, surfing and enjoying the flumes, aswell as snorkelling with sharks over a tropical ocean reef. The weather was beautiful and ten of us had found an elevated, sandy spot just above the Surf Pool. A few palm trees gave a little shade and the ice box was full. Perfect. Every half an hour or so the waves would start thundering towards the shallow end, sweeping all and sundry in a foamy, blue swell. Small children beware; men old enough to know better bodysurfing as if their life depended on it; well, everyone has something to prove, even if it is just to surf further (and faster, and with more style) than one’s twelve year old nephew. My brother had a wonderful time; it was great to see a huge grin appear across his face every time he caught a wave. So much better than the world of high finance, computers and attorneys!

The last day of the year ended with a barbecue around the pool at our house, interspersed with wine, beer and champagne, and every hour, on the hour we all rushed in to gather around the television to watch as the different time zones around the world greeted the new millennium.

Seeing Big Ben and Trafalgar Square made me think briefly of being at home in St. Ives amongst the crazy madness of the fancy dress and the street bands, but we were having a terrific time in and around the pool, and as midnight drew closer on the Eastern coast of America we saw and heard all the fireworks and lasers that began to sparkle across the clear night sky. From Disney World to downtown Orlando, from Universal Studios to Epcot the sky seemed to be filled with exploding chrysanthemums.

And then brother said “Time to go to bed, because we need to get up at three forty five, and drive forty miles to the coast”

“Why?” . . . . “What a ridiculous idea”

By that time I was too tired to argue, and the alarms were set.

So, having had barely two hours sleep, we were all up and awake, and ready to roll by four thirty. Our three cars drove off in tandem full of bleary-eyed passengers. Heading towards the Beeline Expressway, we had to fumble in the darkness for change for the toll booths. (Had the toll operators been sitting in their booths all through the Millennium Eve ? Who knows; but there they sat ready to take your quarters, or hand out change).

We were heading for Cocoa Beach on the East Coast of Florida, and I still did not understand why. What was the big deal?

Just over an hour after setting off we pulled into a gas station a couple of blocks back from the beach. Inside, the coffee machine was giving off a delicious aroma, so we all filled up the jumbo sized polystyrene cups with the hot black liquid. I also bought two newspapers to remind me of where I had been at the close of 1999 and the new beginning of 2000.

The headline on Florida Today was : “2000 ! Magic hour greeted with joy and light”, and The Orlando Sentinel had “2000 ! World marvels at new millennium”.

After our coffee break we drove the cars next door to the car park at Ron Jon’s, the famous 24-hour surf shop. We must have been a bit noisy, because we woke up the occupants of two vans, who had obviously been partying for most of the night. The doors opened and the dishevelled sleepy-heads almost fell out onto the ground, yawning and stretching and wishing everyone a slightly slurred Happy New Year.

6am, in the dark, and here we were in a car park, opening the boot of the car and making sure the champagne was still cold in the ice box! Loaded up with our victuals and a rug to sit upon, we made our way to the beach.

As we began to walk across the sand dunes and down onto the beach, I was suddenly struck by the number of people who were there, and more arriving by the minute. Groups of revellers from the night before were huddled around fires, singing and playing the guitar, some were still in the land of nod in their sleeping bags, and others were merely walking up and down the beach. We laid out the rugs and sat and waited.

Now I knew why we had come here. The atmosphere was amazing; the air of expectancy was almost tangible. People were so friendly and so happy to be there. I just did not realise how many would make the trip to watch the dawning of the new millennium.

After a while a few of us got up and walked down to the sea shore for a paddle; the water was surprisingly warm. A few pelicans flew in formation across the tops of waves, dipping their beaks into the water every now and again. And then it began, very slowly at first, but there was a noticeable lightening of the sky, and the colours began to change from a misty grey to a watery yellow glow. A few light clouds were scattered about, but the horizon was clear. Two shrimp boats were chugging back to port, their diesel engines giving off a faint plume of smoke. Cameras were clicking and camcorders whirring. The sky soon was changing into a smouldering deep orange. As the first pinprick of sunlight pierced the line between the sea and the sky, the cheering began; people were clapping and dancing and singing. Cameras were working overtime and the champagne corks were popping and flying into the air.

The colours began to change as the fiery crimson disc slowly rose into the sky. A vivid pink and orange radiated out from the sun, and yet, far from the centre of the sunrise, the sky remained a deep midnight blue. As it slowly climbed upwards, sunbeams shot their fingers of light in all directions, turning the upper atmosphere into a cool shade of blue.

The time was just after seven o’clock in the morning, and the spectacle that we had witnessed was very special and also quite emotional. We stayed on the beach for another forty minutes or so, sipping the champagne out of the polystyrene cups we had acquired from the gas station, and hugging and kissing, and wishing everyone a Happy New 2000.

Breakfast! The hunger pangs had begun. Trooping back to the cars we decided to drive to Shoneys for an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet for $4.99. Terrific value and excellent food. Lashings of fruit, waffles, doughnuts, scrambled eggs, bacon, ham, sausages, mushrooms, tomatoes, hash browns, cereal, yogurts; anything and everything you could ever want for brekkie. You just keep going back and filling up your plate until your stomach says enough is enough, but maybe room for just one more doughnut !

After we wobbled out of Shoneys full to the brim, we wandered along to Ron Jon Surf Shop, the ‘one of a kind’. The building is fantastic; an art deco castle of pinks, blues and greens, with turrets at each of the four corners. Inside it is huge, two floors full of surf gear, swimwear, beach towels, souvenirs, surfboards, skateboards, shoes and so much more. The staff told us that they had been there all night long; as their advertising states, they are open 24 hours, 365 days a year. We all marvelled at their chirpiness as we loaded up our shopping baskets having found some wonderful bargains. We paid the bill, deposited our purchases in the boot of the car, and then headed back to the beach. Time for a lie down and time to soak up some of the suns’ warming rays. The beach was filling up fast as it was going to be another beautiful, warm, sunny day, with the temperatures in the high seventies.

And that is how we spent the first day of the new millennium. You were fourteen, and were quite happy to sit and read your books; your brother on the other hand, hired a bodyboard, and surfed for a couple of hours.
Lovely, happy, family times.

Remembering you, on this New Year’s Day.
The first new year since 1985 that we have woken up to, without you.
I will be missing you so much.

My darling son.
Angel.
xxxxx

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You think you have time………

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Tuesday 15th December

“The trouble is,
you think you
have time.”
      ~ Buddha

Never in a million years did we think
We’d be facing Christmas without you.
You were just there, always, and forever.

And yes, we thought we had it all.
All the time in the world, together.
To keep on keeping on, as a family.

“The trouble is, you think you have time”
The unmentionable never happens.
To you. To us. To our lives.

And when something comes along,
Like an out-of-control juggernaut,
Your plans are wiped out in an instant.

Hopes and dreams just disappear.
All that is left are the memories.
And memories mean everything now.

Here you are with the Laughing Buddha
Along with Dad and your brother.
Singapore, 1992, Haw Par Villa.

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Haw Par Villa, or Tiger Balm Gardens, Singapore

Such simple, carefree, happy times.
Would that Buddha was smiling on you,
And had spared you from all the pain.

We wish we had more time with you.
We wish we didn’t have to let go.
We wish you were with us still.

Love you sweetie.
Beloved Angel son.
Now in heaven.
My precious one.

xxxxxxx

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Just can’t believe you’re gone

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Wednesday 2nd December

This is our last day on holiday with your brother and his girlfriend.
We awake early, pack, have a coffee, then load up the car.
We are heading for Portugal, ultimately for Lisbon airport, but first we stop at a little seaside town, Caparica, for lunch.

Your brother had recommended a sushi restaurant, so we sit down and order……..
My goodness, what a spread.

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Part of our lunch order

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Spectacular sushi

We then need a little exercise to walk off our lunch. The sea had some good waves, with many surfers enjoying the swell. The local fishermen were bringing in today’s catch up on the sand.
We sat for a while, on a rocky pier, in the warm afternoon sunshine.

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View of Caparica from the pier

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Your brother, wishing he was out surfing too

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You enjoyed the sunshine too

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Fishermen with their boat and tractors, hauling in the net

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Fishermen against a blue and cloudy sky

And I thought of you.
This is our first holiday where you haven’t been able to join us.
It took much soul searching for us to make up our minds to go away without you.
You were always such a huge part of our travel plans.
You absolutely loved coming away on holiday with us.
And now, everything has changed.

And sometimes, I still just can’t believe you’re gone………

I miss you so, so much.
Thinking of you tonight.
Love you, baby.
Angel son.
xxxxx

I miss having you to talk to

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Tuesday 1st December

We start the day by taking your brother’s girlfriend’s dog for a walk. It is a super friendly American bull terrier called Danko; so very strong and full of energy.

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Danko eating a bone

Late morning, and we pick up Ana’s father, and drive to Elvas in Portugal for lunch. As we enter the city we pass a marvellous four-tier aqueduct, 130 feet tall, that stretches for almost four miles.

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The aqueduct at Elvas

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We have a traditional Portuguese spread for lunch. Beginning with breads, olives, cheese, tuna paté and linguica, this is swiftly followed by bacalhau, a dish of salt cod, scrambled eggs and fried potato matchsticks. When all the plates are cleared, platters of churrasquiera, hot and spicy chicken are presented to us. The peri-peri hot oil makes one’s mouth tingle with the heat of chillies.
We complete the meal with a huge plate of the most wonderful mouth-watering desserts. Sericaia topped with a sugar plum, molotov flan, multi-layered coffee cake, baked apple, caramel tart and more.

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A selection of Portuguese desserts

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Around the table

Beer, red wine and a Portuguese liqueur, Beirão, all slipped down quite easily during the many courses.

Feeling quite comfortably full, we have a little wander around the castle of Elvas.

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Elvas castle

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You, sitting on the castle walls

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The sun going down behind the church inside the castle walls

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Another hill top fort can be seen in the distance

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Inside the city walls

Driving back to Badajoz as the sun begins to set, the colours in the sky turning a glowing orange.

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The sun beginning to set over the river Guadiana

Parking quickly, we walk through the plaza to watch the sunset from the top of the castle walls, the Alcazaba, an ancient Moorish citadel.

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Castle walls in the last of the sunshine

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You, on the castle walls of Badajoz

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A dramatic sky

We then walk back through the Plaza Alto, to the car, and make our way back home.

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Plaza Alto

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In the Plaza

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You were there too

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The Plaza decorations

And so we come to the end of our last full day with your brother and girlfriend’s family. If only you could actually have been here with us, I’m sure you would have loved everything about Spain and Portugal.

We love you so very much.
Missing you every day.
Thinking about you always.
And I miss having you to talk to.
Fly high sweetie pie.
Sleep tight darling.
Beloved Angel son.

xxxxx

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Your flowers today. Looking lovely. Being cared for by your Auntie.

Thinking of you, again

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Monday 30th November

Today your brother drove Dad and I to the ancient Roman city of Mérida, about forty minutes North of Badajoz.
The amphitheatre, arena and gardens were absolutely spectacular.
Mérida was founded in 25 BC, and preserves more important Roman monuments than any other city in Spain.

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The view from the entrance

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Roman remains

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The amphitheatre

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The stage

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Imagine gladiators, lions and other beasts in the arena

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Roman arch

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Roman columns

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Shadows

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Julio Cesar Augusto

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Entrance to the amphitheatre

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Columns and statues in the amphitheatre

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Livia, the wife of Emperor Augustus stands over the entrance to the amphitheatre

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Gardens and ruins of Mérida

Having left the amphitheatre, we drove to the road beside the river, and walked along part of the oldest, ancient Roman bridge, and looked at more ruins of the Alcazabar.

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Puente Romano over the river Guadiana

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Puente Romano

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Sitting on the oldest, longest Roman bridge

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You were posing in front of a statue of Romulus and Remus

Your brother then drove us back to Badajoz, just in time for dinner.
The sky was beautiful, at first with a few whispy clouds, then a magnificent fiery sunset.
A wonderful end to a lovely day.

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Big sky

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Fire in the sky

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Amazing colours

We do miss you my darling.
Our days are just not the same.

You would loved to have heard the stories of gladiators fighting the lions, or the emperor giving a thumbs down to the poor, losing opponent following combat in the stadium.

We wish you were still here, enjoying new places and sightseeing with us.

It’s just not the same.

Love you forever.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxx

You are missed

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Sunday 29th November

This morning we found a Starbucks in Seville for breakfast coffee, watched the trams glide through the plaza, listened to the horses hooves pull the carriages around and marvelled at an impromptu flamenco dancer and guitar player.

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Seville tram

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The view from Starbucks

Then we walked to the cathedral and wandered around inside.
The cathedral is the largest Gothic cathedral, and third largest church in the world. It houses an amazing art collection, with huge paintings by Goya, Murillo and Zubaran. We also stood at the tomb of Christopher Columbus’ son.

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The tomb of Christopher Columbus' son

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High ceilings

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Inside the cathedral

Magnificent ceilings, an impressive organ, many stained glass windows and massive doorways filled us with awe and wonderment.

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Gilded frieze

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Sunday morning mass

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One of the many stained glass windows

We then walked on to the Alcázar Palace and Gardens, home of the Spanish royal family when they are in Seville. Opulent architecture, elegant gardens, majestic walkways and fabulous water features greeted us at every twist and turn.

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Walking towards the palace

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Palace entrance plaza

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Arabic influences everywhere

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A superb mosaic ceiling

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Intricate outdoor embellishment

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Arches and porticos and colonades

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Wonderful mosaics

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Fabulous ceiling

All in all very cultural day exploring old Seville.
I’m not sure what you would have made of it, perhaps preferring more modern shops, bookstores and malls.
But you came along with us, every step of the way.

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Terrifically tall palm tree

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Blue skies

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Spiky tree

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Your brother and his girlfriend

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Fountain and an avenue of trees

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Mosaic bench

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Mid-morning snack with you

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Beautiful bouganvillea

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Fish filled pond

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Angel bear in front of the palace

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Family photo ~ with you on my lap

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Making our way back to the hotel

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A quick stop by the river before leaving Seville

Love you forever.
You never leave my mind.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxx

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Your flowers today

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A new robin at your resting place ~ kindly bought by your aunt

I miss you so much

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Saturday 28th November

On this date last year, we found out the extent of your cancer. Not only lung tumours, but brain tumours as well. Such an awful day. I remember it as if it happened yesterday.
This was the day when you were admitted to the hospital, and your treatment began.
This was the day when I spent two nights sleeping in a chair beside your bed…………
How I wish we could turn back the clock, and change the course of events……..

But here we are…..
And there you are……

We travelled to Seville this morning, and have spent the rest of the day exploring the old town, the cathedral, gardens, and ended up somewhere in a bar, down an alleyway, watching an authentic flamenco show.

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Old historic town of Seville

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Seville oranges

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Our hotel in the historic old town

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Balconies, mosaics, ironwork

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Palm trees and blue sky

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Seville old town

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In the plaza for lunch

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Angel bear and beer ~ of course you're with us

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Narrow streets

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The town hall

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Beautiful architecture

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Seville cathedral

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Inside the cathedral

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Inside the cathedral

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Seville cathedral

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Pink walls and Jasmine flowers

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Interesting alleyways

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Orange trees grow everywhere

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Narrow walkways and shops

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Fabulous tree trunk

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Magnificent doorway

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Narrow walkways

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Shops and restaurants

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You are always with us

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Busy Saturday night

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White and yellow

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Narrow streets

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Midnight people

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Your brother and girlfriend enjoying an evening cocktail

Love you so very much my darling.
Missing you like crazy.
Wish you were here with us.
xxxxx

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Your flowers today

You never leave my mind

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Friday 27th November

This morning we explored the old city of Badajoz , where your brother’s girlfriend lives. So many narrow streets, terracotta tiled rooves, and castle battlements, plus the sky was an amazing azure blue. A very pleasant November day.

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The rooftops of Badajoz

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Plaza Alto

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The rooves of Badajoz

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Plaza Alto

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Narrow streets

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Graffiti on the walls of old Badajoz

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Balconies and wrought iron work

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The house where we are staying ~ as blue as the sky

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The house

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Lemon trees in the garden

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Palm tree in the garden

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And of course, you are with us too.

We miss you so much.
It would have been wonderful to have you here with us.
Exploring, new adventures, experiences, people, foods, language.
You would have a great time.
Love you forever.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxxx

Miss you everyday

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Thursday 26th November

Today was spent exploring the old city of Lisbon, and climbing to the top of Castelo di Sao Jorge. Spectacular views of the rooftops, churches and river beyond could be seen. It was an exceptionally clear, blue sky day, and much warmer than normal.

We took the little Angel teddy bear with us, so you could be there too. I think you would have liked to explore the castle. There was even a tour guide dressed up in a suit of armour complete with metal helmet.

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Angel teddy on the battlements of the castle

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Looking out across the city

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Angel teddy at the Castelo de Sao Jorge

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Inside the castle walls

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On the battlements again

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Peacocks in the castle grounds

After the exploration of the castle we took a tram ride around the city, through steep, narrow cobbled streets. We saw many restaurant and cafe tables on the pavements, sheltered with large parasols, tuk tuks weaving in and out of the traffic, and of course many tourists enjoying the unseasonably warm, sunny weather.

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Lisbon tram

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Tram coming down the cobbled street

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Our morning libation, complete with ice cream

You would have loved the ice-cream ~ kiwi and rum raisin.

Late afternoon saw us leaving the city and heading east to your brother’s girlfriend’s house across the border in Spain. A wonderful sunset accompanied us, followed by the rising of the full moon.

I wish you could have been here with us too.
I miss your fun and cheekiness as we explore new places.
You would have loved the sights, sounds and smells of Lisbon.

Love you my Angel.
Sleep tight darling.
xxxxx

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Your flowers today