Monday 21st December

Someone left a gift for you,
Placed gently on your graveside.
A little heart and a flying dove,
With a white ribbon it was tied.

“In our hearts forever”, it read.
As that is where you are.
And up above in the sky at night,
You twinkling, shining star.

‘Frank’ was written, with a kiss,
Because it’s just for you.
Bought with lots and lots of love,
But left with sadness, too.

I found out later who it was,
The giver of the token.
My sister had been to visit you,
She stood, words unspoken.

You meant so much to all of us,
We’ll never, ever forget you.
Our first Christmas without you,
It’s heaven, we’ll look up to.

Love you sweetheart.
Missing you so much.

xxxxxx

Sunday 20th December

By now you would be very excited,
With all the events, so delighted.
You knew many carols to be recited,
As a family together, all reunited.

So, how I wish that you were here,
Sharing in the festive cheer.
Missing you so much, my dear,
As down my cheek, falls a tear.

But this year it is just not to be.
Where once was four, now are three.
I know you’re up there flying free,
I really wish you were here with me.

Love you my precious son.
Now you’ll be forever young.
xxxxxx

A happy penguin for you

Father Christmas too

Saturday 19th December

I was beginning to get worried that I wouldn’t see you today.
Dad drove past about eight thirty this morning.
I tried three times this afternoon.
Each time the gates were padlocked.
What on earth was going on?

I made phone calls, sent emails, complaint forms filled out.

The cemetery seemed impenetrable.

The last Saturday before Christmas, surely there would be many people wishing to visit loved ones, placing Christmas wreaths and the like.

But the last time we tried, when it was almost dusk, miraculously someone had come along and swung the gates open wide.

Thank goodness.

I don’t think I could go a day without visiting you, or having our little chat together.

I brought you some sleigh bells, that your Auntie had found, and another little horse.

I miss you sweetie pie, I really do.
It’s just not the same at all.

But, I was so pleased, and relieved that we finally were able to see you.

So, Goodnight my Angel.
Have a happy, sweet dream.

Love you so much.
xxxxx

Almost dark, night night my darling xxx

Wednesday 16th December

“I’ll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces.
All day through
I’ll find you.
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I’ll be looking at the moon,
But I’ll be seeing you.”

(These lyrics were written in 1938 by Irving Kahal, with music by Sammy Fain.)
………………

How I wish I could see you.
I wish you were right here.
Chatting, smiling, laughing.

But I will look at the moon,
I’ll look up to the morning sun,
And somehow, there you’ll be.

(I think you would have liked
This Billie Holiday version.
“I’ll be seeing you”.)

Right now I’m missing you.
I feel so lost without you here.
So many memories, all around.

I will smile when reminded of you.
You left such a huge impression
On our lives and in our hearts.

So yes, I will be seeing you,
In all the places we used to go.
Smiling, as my heart embraces you.

Blowing kisses to heaven.
As I do every night.
Love you forever.

xxxxx

Monday 14th December

“For the hardest thing
I’ve ever had to face,
Heaven calls for you
Before it calls for me.
When you get there
Save me a place.
A place where I
Can share your smile.
And I can hold you
For more than just a while.”

I came across these words today, and I thought of you.
I wish heaven hadn’t called for you, before it did me.
It is just not the correct order of things in this life.
A parent should not outlive their child or children.

I think of you, each and every day.
I blow kisses to heaven for you.
I love you to the moon and back,
Around the stars and planets, too.

My sweet Angel child.
My precious baby.
My darling son.
xxxxx

Sunday 13th December

“Just saying your name”

Frank.
Frankie.
Frankie Dude.
Frankie Doodles.
Frazz.
Frazzle.
Frazzmo.

Sometimes just saying your name
Brings tears to my eyes.
Sometimes just hearing your name:
I stop. I’m paralysed.
But I need to hear your name.
I know I always will.
But I need to speak your name.
You are with me, still.

Love you forever,
Beloved son.
Always in my heart,
Forever young.
Moon and back,
Dearest one.

xxxxx

Frankie Angel for the tree

Saturday 12th December

December the twelfth.
Well here we are,
Nine long months,
A twinkling star.

This time last year,
Treatment had begun.
None knew the pain,
That was to come.
                    
Your growing cancer
Was unrelenting.
Aggressive and silent,
So overwhelming.

Blood transfusion,
Chemotherapy,
High dose steroids,
Pumped intravenously.

Tired all the time,
No appetite.
Hair falling out,
Poor little mite.

We held you close,
At your bedside.
Positive thinking.
We really tried.

Your fragile body,
Put up a great fight.
But in the end,
Angel wings took flight.

I miss you now,
As I did then.
My heart is broken.
Tears fall again.

Love you so much,
Sweet Angel son.
Til I see you again,
Forever young.

xxxxxx

A reindeer for you xxxx

Missing you every day xxxx