Sunday 22nd May

In the middle of a moment
of happiness
Devastating pain waits silently
in the shadows.
Normalcy is turned upside down
in a few fleeting seconds.
A smile and carefree thought
frozen, smashed.

You were here, you’re not here
but you are here.
In a flash of chaos and turmoil
grief overwhelms.
It will always be there constantly
in the background.

Are you adept enough to
throw on the mask?
Did anyone else catch the
heartbreaking instant
When the sparkle turns dull
and tears well up?

It will be those many memories
that ease the sorrow
The remembered smiles and fun
the good times.
So fortunate that you existed
were part of our lives.
Such powerful emotions flow
from intense love.

And we do love you so very much.
We miss you everyday.

Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Saturday 21st May

I’ll keep on keeping on
Wearing the mask to hide the pain
I’ll keep on keeping on
Hiding my tears that fall like rain

I’ll keep on keeping on
Pretending that all is fine and ok
I’ll keep on keeping on
Trying to smile when all seems grey

I’ll keep on keeping on
Feeling so very sad that you’re gone
I’ll keep on keeping on
Because in my heart you’ll live on

I’ll keep on keeping on
Thinking of you in heaven above
I’ll keep on keeping on
Remembering you with so much love

Dearest Angel son

xxxxxxx

A dull and grey afternoon

Friday 20th May

Thoughts of you
Fill my head
Like millions
Of sparkling
Diamonds
In the darkest
Night time sky
So precious
Cherished and
Treasured
Twinkling, shining
The brightest star
That’s you
My Starman
Flying high tonight.

Love you sweetheart
Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Thursday 19th May

I love mummy
Love from Frank.

And I love you
Love from mummy.

Now and forever
Dearest darling son

A note from you that I found today, whilst tidying out some drawers

Such a sweet note
That made me cry.

To the moon and back
And all around the world.

Love you so much
My Angel Starman.

xxxxxxx

Wednesday 18th May

Remembering you
Is what I do.

A tear may fall
But love stands tall.

Memories I hold
Precious like gold.

A smile and kiss
It’s you I miss.

Love you forever
Sweet little treasure

Darling Angel son
Always forever young.

xxxxxxx

Pondering.......with a hint of a smile. Key West August 2010

Windy on Porthmeor Beach

Calmer in the harbour

Sunday 15th May

The sparkling blue sea
Brings a smile to me
For I know you would be
Quite content and happy.

From pain you’re set free
You’ve been given the key.
But we did not foresee
This is now, reality
You’re forever aged thirty.

Life has no guarantee
No promise of immortality
But we thought you’d be
Here for longer, sweetpea.

Love you my Angel.
Blowing kisses to heaven
Across the sparkling sea.

xxxxxxx

Harbour and mid-air seagull

Porthgwidden from The Island

Porthgwidden

The sparkling blue sea at Bamaluz

The lifeboat, just before the naming ceremony. The Nora Stachura

Your lilies still looking beautiful

Saturday 14th May

A tiny robin came to visit today
As we had our afternoon coffee,
Chirping, pecking beneath chairs.
So, was that you, my little softie?

An Angel disguised as a robin,
Skittering across the wood floor.
Staying for a while, it flew to the rail
Taking flight over the seashore.

A sign from you letting us know
That you were near and close by.
You’re all around us, all the time,
Today, with the robin, we identify.

Missing you sweetheart.
Love you forever.
Precious Angel son.
Fly high little robin.

xxxxxxx

The Food and Drink Festival on the beach ~ our view with coffee

Our little robin visitor

The harbour through the trees

Porthminster Beach through the trees

Porthminster

Friday 13th May

The lighthouse brightly shines its beam
Across the darkening sea to the shore
Lighting a safe path for those lost souls
Guiding them safely home once more.

Your own twinkling star is like a beacon
As I look longingly to the heavens above
I hope you are smiling from way up high
For I send kisses and so much love.

I wish you could follow the luminous ray
Flashing forth from the rusty structure
Back to our arms, we can hold you tight
As if it were a life-giving sculpture.

So, just as that lighthouse stands tall
Radiating its brilliance for all to see
You too must illuminate the night skies
My precious little Starman flying free.

Sweetheart Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Boats at low tide in the harbour

The lighthouse on Smeaton's Pier

Thursday 22th May

I wonder
I wonder what you’d be like.
Today, tomorrow
Next week, month, year.
I wonder what you’d be like
If you were still here.

The knowing
It’s the knowing that no more
Memories, experiences
Will ever be made again.
Fun times together
No longer ours to entertain.

I hurt
I hurt because you’re not here.
The shock of what happened
And, much more importantly
Of what now, never will,
Has changed our lives markedly.

I love you
I love you my darling Angel.
Today, tomorrow
Next week, month, year.
I love you my darling Angel
Continuing to hold you dear.

xxxxxxx

Foggy again across the harbour

Foggy town

Wednesday 11th may

My grief story…….
Will be the story I keep telling
Through tears, smiles
And everything else in between.
The depth of my pain
Will mostly be hidden.
Reading betwixt the lines
Would be like lifting the mask
And seeing and feeling
The desolation beneath.

Missing you sweetheart.
Love you forever, Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Love you my Angel

Such a foggy day over Man's Head