Wednesday 2nd March
I miss your smile.
I miss your face.
I miss your laughter.
I miss your eyes.
I miss your voice.
I miss your love.
I miss you.
Sweet Angel son.
xxxxxxx
Aquatica, August 2011. Such a cheeky grin.
Mar2
Miss your smile
Category Archives: Testicular cancer
Mar1
Our roots remain as one
Tuesday 1st March
“Like branches on a tree . . . . .
We may grow in different directions,
But our roots remain as one.”
We are a close knit family,
Travelling together so happily.
Summer vacations and holidays,
Thought we’d be together always.
But three are here, one in heaven,
Love for each other, never lessen.
Thankful for those family ties,
Growing stronger, intensifies.
Like those branches on the tree,
Roots are joined forever, tightly.
Love you my Angel son.
xxxxxxx
Our family, Chicago, August 2004
Blue sky, through the trees, in the cemetery, this morning
Feb29
Grey
Monday 29th February
Today seems grey.
You’re no longer here,
You’ve gone away.
Seeing the world
In shades of grey,
Life’s now unfurled.
No bright colours,
Just a flat grey,
Gone are all others.
Grey, draining contrast,
Monotone misery,
Sad, eyes downcast.
A grey isolation,
Wraps and enfolds,
Thoughts of desolation.
Neutral and bland,
Grey mist rolls in,
Over the quicksand.
Life’s not black and white.
A muddle of grey,
Seems about right.
Dismal and depressing,
This misty, grey fog,
All joy suppressing.
Looking for a change,
To brighten the day,
This grey to exchange.
The heavy, dull sky,
A ponderous grey.
Exhaling a sigh.
So, today is grey.
But it’ll be different,
I hope, some day.
I’m missing you today
My darling Angel son
Make the grey go away.
xxxxxxx
Looking out over the rampers this afternoon
Feb28
A little of each other
Sunday 28th February
“We all take different paths in life,
but no matter where we go,
we take a little of each other everywhere.”
Everywhere we go, somehow you are with us. You come along for the ride, for the adventure, or even for the mundane.
Although you are not physically with us, you remain in my heart forever.
Your DNA is within me, and mine within you.
In my handbag are little white feathers that I have found, and tucked into a zipped pocket, wrapped up safely, is the Frankie Angel bear.
When we drive in Dad’s car, your seatbelt is done up, and it shows on the dashboard that there is a passenger in the back, where you used to sit. Where your spirit now is seated.
I carry your photograph in my bag too, a happy, smiling face.
And of course my phone is full of photo memories of us all.
So, wherever we now go, I’ll always have a little bit of you, with me.
Forever.
I do miss you, though.
I miss you so much.
Life is not the same.
xxxxxxx
Feb27
Fairy tale of a time
Saturday 27th February
During an autumn school holiday when we were living in Australia, we spent some time in Mount Gambier, SA.
It was here that we came across Fairy Tale Park, a delightful and unique family attraction set in large gardens.
You and your brother both loved exploring all the fairy tale tableaux, with castles, bogeymen, princes and princesses, and many nursery rhyme characters.
A sweet and gentle time
With no worries, no fears.
A childhood fairy tale,
For those young of years.
Missing you.
Love you forever.
My fairy tale Angel son.
xxxxxxx
Fairy Tale Park, near Mt Gambier, SA. April 1991
Feb26
Lasts a lifetime
Friday 26th February
“A smile happens in a flash
It’s memory lasts a lifetime.”
You had such a cheeky grin,
Easy to see when you were happy.
Laughter spread from within,
When something tickled your fancy.
A great big smile across your face,
Let us know you were having fun.
That we had chosen the right place,
Giving you the very best, bar none.
Missing you every single day,
Missing your happy personality.
Wishing you’d been able to stay,
To spread your saucy individuality.
Love you forever
Sweet Angel son.
xxxxxxx
August 2010 Harry Potter Land, Orlando
Feb25
Another alien blob
Thursday 25th February
I travelled to Exeter today with my husband, to have another alien blob, this time removed from my back.
At my previous dermatology appointment, the consultant spotted a suspect basal cell carcinoma.
Sounds dodgy, but not as bad as a melanoma.
The blob that was cut out was quite a sizeable chunk; it was put in a specimen pot, to be sent to the pathology lab.
I had a number of deep stitches, that will dissolve, six surface stitches, steri strips, and finally a bigger dressing.
In twelve days I’ll have the stitches out, and then in three to four weeks, the results. So I’ll have to wait patiently.
We’re staying overnight in the hotel where we would always stay with you.
So many memories….
We wish you were here with us.
It’s Thursday.
Fifty weeks ago today.
Three hundred and fifty days.
I miss you so much.
My darling Angel son.
xxxxxxx
Feb24
From my heart to yours
Wednesday 24th February
“Your body is away from me,
but there is a window open
from my heart to yours.”
Rumi
My heart will always hold yours,
Beating together as one.
Our love forever endures,
My darling, my precious son.
Although I might seem strong
Not one single day goes by
When memories come along
Bringing a tear to my eye.
Your face lit up with such joy
When told of future holidays.
Remaining forever a young boy
Joining in the fun, as always.
Now, you’re within my heart
I’ll hold you tightly for all time
Then we’ll never be apart
Beloved Angel son of mine.
Miss you.
Love you.
xxxxxxx
Feb23
Dulces sueños
Tuesday 23rd February
Dulces sueños.
Sweet dreams.
Your brother’s girlfriend’s mum passed away this afternoon.
She had been struggling with cancer for the last few months, and finally succumbed, surrounded by her family in Spain.
Another twinkling star in the heavens this evening.
Such an elegant, beautiful woman.
Such an awful, heartless disease.
If you meet each other tonight
Hug and hold each other tight.
May your stars twinkle bright
In the darkness, bringing light.
Sleep my Angel, sleep well tonight.
Dulces sueños xxxxxxx
The harbour and slipway this afternoon
Feb22
Worth the price
Monday 22nd February
“Love will always cost you grief.
And
Love is always worth the price.”
That my grief is so painful
Is purely because
I love you so much
And miss what was.
That my heart is breaking
Is purely because
I think of you often
And miss what was.
That my tears fall freely
Is purely because
I’m remembering you
And I miss what was.
To the moon and back, sweetheart.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxxx
The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son) 