Wednesday 11th may

My grief story…….
Will be the story I keep telling
Through tears, smiles
And everything else in between.
The depth of my pain
Will mostly be hidden.
Reading betwixt the lines
Would be like lifting the mask
And seeing and feeling
The desolation beneath.

Missing you sweetheart.
Love you forever, Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Love you my Angel

Such a foggy day over Man's Head

Tuesday 10th May

Love you, love you
Love you I do.
Why can’t you be here
And sit with me too?

Hold you, hold you
Hold you I would.
I’d never let go
It’d just be so good.

Miss you, miss you
Miss you so much.
Holding your hand
Feeling your touch.

I cry, I cry
I cry most days.
Tears flow easily
In so many ways.

I stand, I stand
I stand by your grave.
Trying so hard
To be strong and brave.

I know, I know
I know there’s no pain.
Just want you here
To cuddle again.

Fly high, fly high
Fly high my starman.
To the moon and beyond
Soar as long as you can.

xxxxxxx

Monday 9th May

Your passing
Sudden ending
Unexpected departure.

Soul crushing
Path altering
Life changing.

Numbing emptiness
Sweeping listlessness
Inescapable sadness.

Tragic loss
Painful emotions
Heartbreaking situation.

Bittersweet memories
Plans dismissed
Dreams lost.

Resting peacefully
Eternally missed
Forever young.

Precious life
Blessed opportunities
Unbelievable adventures.

Always loved
Never forgotten
Beloved Angel.

xxxxxxx

Sunday 8th May

Can you feel my love
Up there in heaven above?

Can you sense my depression
In the peace of your heaven?

Do you see my head bowed
Way up there in the cloud?

Do you know you were gone too soon
As you look down from the moon?

Do you see me going through memoirs
As you twinkle amongst the stars?

Can you see me cry
Whilst up there in the sky?

Can you feel my love grow
On the other side of the rainbow?

I’ll be loving you forever
As your spirit blows on the zephyr.

xxxxxxx

Saturday 7th May

Silent tears
Silent pain
Silent screams
Silent yet again.

Can’t see you
Can’t hear you
Can’t touch you
But I love you.

Memories
Recollections
Inner thoughts
In our affections.

Photographs
Smiling face
I imagine you here
A hug and embrace.

Miss you
My sweetheart
Must believe
We’re never apart.

xxxxxxx

Friday 6th May

I miss you
I don’t know what else there is to say.
I miss you
A little more every single day.
I miss you
Finding it hard to keep my tears at bay.
I miss you
Even more than yesterday.
I miss you
And all the games you used to play.
I miss you
So much more than words convey.
I miss you
The world now seems very grey.
I miss you
So many memories still to replay.
I miss you
On Angel wings you flew away.
I miss you
Wish you were here to stay.

Love you like there’s no tomorrow.
Thinking of you today.
Missing you every single day.

Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Thursday 5th May

What a sight Dad and I made today; I think you would have had a wry smile, a chuckle even, and then you would have told us off for being disrespectful to our surroundings.

You see, it was a hot and sunny day, and we decided to clear your resting place of all the stones and rock, generally tidy it up in readiness for your headstone.
It’s been sixty weeks since you fell asleep and gained your Angel wings.

So there we were, garden fork and spade, trowels, buckets, watering can, compost and grass seed.
Dad said if anyone had come along to ask us what we were doing, he was going to tell them we were digging you up to take on holiday with us.
Oh dear. Oh dearie, dearie me.
But you’ve got to laugh, haven’t you?
Yes, it must have looked odd, two people setting to, with spades and forks, digging over a grave. But there were so many stones, that we had to have a proper clean up.

Yes, the cemetery groundsmen do keep the whole place tidy, but because we had covered your space with flowers, animals and windcatchers, and had kept it neat ourselves, they left us to do our own thing. They were very considerate and understanding towards us.

Normally the groundsmen would turf over at an appropriate time, as this is a lawned cemetery, but because of all your ‘decorations’, that was not possible.

Today, we took things into our own hands.
Having removed bucketloads of stones, we levelled out, spread new compost, sprinkled grass seed and watered thoroughly. Only then did we replace the flowers and other ornaments, and I must admit, it certainly looked much more fitting. I hope you think so too.
Sorry if we made too much noise.
Now we wait for the grass to grow.

Sleep tight sweetheart.
Precious Angel son.
Love you forever.
Missing you so much.

xxxxxxx

Wednesday 4th May

The permanence
Of your passing
Hurts.

The understanding
That you’re not here
Hurts.

Acknowledging
You’re not coming back
Hurts.

The acquiescence
Of no more pain
Comforting.

The admittance
Of no more suffering
Heartening.

The recollection
Of beautiful memories
Priceless.

I love you so much.
I miss you more than words can say.
Fly high, shine bright my sweet Angel.

xxxxxxx

Dad and I went out to watch the sunset tonight. Thought of you so much

Great colours this evening

Tuesday 3rd May

Smile for me, my darling, sweet Angel
Shining like the brightest diamond.
Twinkling as vividly as you are able
When I look up to the dark night sky.

As we walk in our slumber of dreams
Holding hands and laughing gently
The moon sends down glowing beams
That light our way to true happiness.

Closing my eyes, listening to my heart
I sense the beating, yours and mine
And now I know we’ll never be apart
You’re safe, my beloved starlight boy.

xxxxxxx

Smile for me my Angel

The beach this afternoon

High tide in the harbour

Bright green leaves against an azure blue sky

Monday 2nd May

This made me smile today.
A sweet and innocent drawing.
Yet conveying so much love.
A great big, beaming grin.
Outstretched arms open wide.
And I immediately thought of you.

I love you this much
Right up to the moon and back
Beyond the stars
And round the planets.
I love you more each and every day
But I miss you so much too.
Dearest darling Angel son.

xxxxxxx

More and more leaves beginning to show