Friday 30th September
Leaves fall
Short days
Recall
Holidays.
Blazing fire
Chill breeze
Warm attire
Rough seas.
Crisp air
Bright star
Up there
You are.
Thinking of you always
Missing you every day
Love you forever
Darling Angel son.
xxxxxx
Friday 30th September
Leaves fall
Short days
Recall
Holidays.
Blazing fire
Chill breeze
Warm attire
Rough seas.
Crisp air
Bright star
Up there
You are.
Thinking of you always
Missing you every day
Love you forever
Darling Angel son.
xxxxxx
Thursday 29th September
Sparkling raindrops glistening on delicate flower petals
Golden brown leaves beginning to fall from overhanging branches
Autumnal mists clear to give some afternoon warmth
And I’m sensing your quiet presence all around me today
A soft whisper, a gentle touch, a voice in the shadows
I know you’re still with me, only a heartbeat away.
It’s Thursday again.
Eighty one weeks
Love you forever
Missing you always.
xxxxxx
Standing on the edge looking in
Unable to join; still mourning
No one sees the tears falling
It’s your name that I’m calling
As up on high you’re soaring
A new day of grief, dawning.
I love you now
I love you still
Always have
Always will.
Missing you every moment.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxxx
Tuesday 27th September
This was our second day spent raising awareness and collecting monies in our local supermarket, for our four charities.
We began at 9:00am and finally packed up at 5:00pm; a long day, with a couple of breaks, but well worth it. Other volunteers helped out too, allowing us time to shop, go home for some lunch, and of course, time to visit you.
We spoke to a number of your schoolmates and teachers. One remembered you in primary school, and commented on your love of He-Man and She-Ra books. She said you would get a group of children in turn, to play the part of He-Man’s Battle Cat, and you would ride on their backs, pretending to be the Master of the Universe, shouting “I have the power!”
A teacher’s aide recalled you in school, always walking around with a bundle of books under your arm and a little grin on your face.
Dad made the comment that for most of the time we get on with our lives, dealing with our grief and thoughts about you, mostly in private.
On days like today, when we are raising awareness of testicular cancer and collecting monies for the charity in honour of you, then our grief is suddenly made tremendously public.
The box is opened up wide for all to peer in and poke about inside.
Most of the time I can cope; able to talk about you, your treatment and ultimately what happened at the end.
But sometimes I falter, and the mask crumbles, and I no longer seem to be able to show the strength necessary to hold back tears.
We do miss you so much sweetie.
Love you forever.
Darling Angel son.
xxxxxx
Monday 26th September
Looking back on memories past
Brings a smile that’s made to last.
Thoughts of you do comfort fast
With a love that’s unsurpassed.
Those memories take me back to you
Like dreams filling adventures new.
I know my wishes won’t come true
But collecting moments is what I do.
Love you forever.
Missing you always.
Sweetheart Angel son.
xxxxxx
Sunday 25th September
We spent the day in our local supermarket, raising awareness, selling raffle tickets and collecting spare change.
We have joined up with three local families who have also lost family members to illnesses. The charities we are fundraising for are: Checkemlads Testicular Cancer, Meningitis Now, Bowel Cancer and the Brain Tumour Charity.
Although it was a fairly quiet Sunday, we did collect a good amount of money, and spoke to many people. One chap, who was holidaying in the area, didn’t want to buy a raffle ticket, but did purchase a wristband; he made the comment that Testicular Cancer is not spoken about enough.
We are also planning a musical tribute event in October, with local musicians, singers, dancers and DJ’s, with food provided by some of the town’s best restaurants. It should be a great occasion.
And all of this we are doing, because of you, my dearest darling. Trying to raise awareness, so young men can talk more openly about their health, seek advice and support early, and not be embarrassed to admit they might have a problem with their testicles.
“Oi lads! Checking testicles is cool”
I love you so much sweetie, and miss you every day. Wishing things had been different for you.
xxxxxx
Saturday 24th September
Somewhere within the dark, depths of nightmares
In the miserable fog of hopelessness
I’m searching for rainbows and smiles
To ease my desperate loneliness.
Trying to catch an elusive moonbeam
Looking for a switch to turn the colour back on
Chasing memories, holding onto dreams
I’m finding it hard to accept you’ve gone.
Missing you every day
Love you forever
My precious Angel son.
xxxxxx
Friday 23rd September
There’s a space today
Where you should be
Standing just there
Right next to me.
A day trip to Bath
Recalling days past
A tear in my eye
But memories last.
Love you Angel.
Dearest darling son.
xxxxxx
Thursday 22nd September
I will always miss what would have been
I will always treasure what was
I will keep those memories evergreen
I will always love you, just because.
We drove your brother to Bristol airport early this morning to catch a flight to Lisbon, then on to Spain, to be with his girlfriend.
He has spent the summer with us, working and saving money, and now it’s time to start his job, teaching young students English.
The house will be quiet.
And it’s Thursday again.
Eighty weeks.
I love you forever my darling Angel son.
xxxxxx