Tuesday 15th September
It was a year ago today that you began a journey on the most awful rollercoaster. You were eventually to be given a diagnosis of testicular cancer, and the horrendous disease would take your life six months later.
You had complained of a pain ‘down there’: following a visit to the GP, you were referred to the hospital, where you spent almost all of this day at the A and E department in Torbay. An ultrasound scan confirmed a mass in your left testicle, and further appointments were made.
Little did we know then how serious this would turn out to be.
Would we have changed anything?
Would we have done things differently?
What could we have done to improve your chances?
In the back of my mind is always the niggling question of why you didn’t have a CT scan sooner. Following the biopsy, and then the removal of the testicle, we were told all was fine, and you came home with us.
It was not until late November it was discovered that you also had tumours in your brain and lungs. This was after we had almost demanded a scan be carried out, as you were having terrible headaches and vomiting.
Should we have insisted upon the CT scan directly after the orchidectomy?
Hindsight……
If only……
I wish……
What if……
Why……
We miss you more than words can say.
We love you so very, very much.
Sending kisses to Heaven.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxx
The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son) 
Don’t ever second guess yourself. You did the best that a mother could do. It was out of your hands. When things got bad you stepped up and took control and did what you felt you had too but it was just time for your angel to go and fly his wings somewhere else. His wings are wide and he’s flying around in heaven and watching over you all. So peace to your heart.
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Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Such lovely words x
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Always.
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Only a year….. so tragic, the way his story unfolded. And now you have melanoma. I can’t stand it. You and your husband, and other son are so strong, Melanie.
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We try to be as strong as we can.
It’s all we know.
x
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Love your posts. I feel your pain and share it in my heart. Although we have never met and I didn’t know your son, I feel like I know you and him through your posts. I feel like I miss him too and everyone I ever lost by reading your thoughts and being reminded. I love that you keep seeing him in a different moments in your day. Bless your heart and I wish you comfort. Lots of hugs. And love your teddy bear picture.
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Thank you for such a lovely message.
Very much appreciated indeed.
xx
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