Category Archives: brain tumour

Apr27

An age ago

Posted on April 27, 2016 by MeRaw

Wednesday 27th April

I’ve been spending time trying to clear out cupboards of accumulated clutter. I can only go for so long, as I keep finding little mementos of you: birthday cards, glasses, awards, toys, key chains, and oh so many photographs.
These make me stop and think of all the good times we spent together for over thirty years.
And then I have to shut the cupboard doors before I start fighting back the tears.
But I had to smile when I came across this photograph of us. We had not long arrived in Australia, and had gone to visit dad at his work, although your brother does look rather shy.

You, me and your brother. HMAS Cerberus. 1990

Me and my darling boys
Seems like an age ago.
Full of life, love and joys
Smile for the family photo.

Love you my darling Angel son.
Missing you every single day.
Wish you were here, precious one
In my heart is where you stay.

xxxxxxx

Cold and chilly in the harbour

A pretty sky this evening

Apr26

I love you, I miss you

Posted on April 26, 2016 by MeRaw

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Tuesday 26th April

I love you, I miss you
That’s all I want to say.
You left this earth too soon
Thinking of you every day.

I love you, I miss you
Some days it hurts so much.
Remembering holding hands
The gentle feel of your touch.

I love you, I miss you
Helping you to cross the road.
Keeping you close always
As you walked with head bowed.

I love you, I miss you
My precious little sweetheart.
You meant so much to everyone
And I can’t help but fall apart.

I love you, I miss you
And that will never cease.
I know there is no more pain
And you are now at peace.

xxxxxxx

Apr25

You now can fly

Posted on April 25, 2016 by MeRaw

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Monday 25th April

With Angel wings you now can fly
Up in the clouds is where you lie.

But in my heart is how you’ll stay
I know you’re there every single day.

Memories of you I now recall
Trying to smile and enjoying it all.

Sweet dreams my precious one
Filled with so much joy and fun.

Look down on us, when you can
Because we miss you, little man.

Love you always my beloved son
Thirty years, and forever young.

xxxxxxx

Apr24

Somewhere

Posted on April 24, 2016 by MeRaw

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Sunday 24th April

Somewhere, there’s this place
Where I can see, hear and touch you.
A place where I watch you smile
And where I can feel your cuddles.

This place is unseen by others
But we know it’s there, don’t we?
In my dreams, my soul, my heart
All around me, it’s where you are.

This very special, forever place
Where you and I exist together.
For as long as I move and breathe
You are there with me, for all time.

I love you so very much.
I miss you each and every day.
A piece of you is in my heart
And there you will forever stay.

xxxxxxx

Your flowers

The harbour today

Your flowers

Tonight's sky

Deepening colours

Somewhere, you're out there

Apr23

Blue skies

Posted on April 23, 2016 by MeRaw

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Saturday 23rd April

Blue skies
An Angel flies.
Sun rise
Some stifled cries.
Big sighs
Tears fall from eyes.

Love you forever and always.
Missing you every single day.
Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Blue skies in the harbour this afternoon

Low tide

Pink tulips from your auntie

Love you sweetheart

Some photos from our trip to Portugal and Spain.

Apr22

Home

Posted on April 22, 2016 by MeRaw

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Friday 22nd April

After a long, long day, we’re safely home. Having awoken at 5:30am, showered, breakfasted, checked out, we walked to the airport terminal, only to realise some twenty minutes later that it was the wrong terminal. Ho hum.
So we find a bus that takes us to where we should be.
And join the queue to the baggage drop, and following that the queue to passport control, and then the queue to the departure gate, until finally we are safely boarded.
A short, smooth flight up the Bay of Biscay, across the North West corner of France, over the Channel Islands, and we’re back in Bristol in a little over two hours after leaving Lisbon.

Before we actually reach home, we drive in to see you.
This is the longest time we’ve been apart from you, and looking after your flowers at your resting place; but my sister, your auntie, has been to see you whilst we’ve been away.

Standing there, in the cool evening drizzle it seems as though nothing has changed, everything’s the same, you’re not here with us, your life ended too soon: we’ve been off on holiday, and you didn’t come with us.

Nothing’s changed.
Everything’s as it was.
Everything’s the same.

But everything has changed.
Nothing is as it was.
Our lives are not the same.

And tears fall.
This is not right.
Life is not fair.

I suppose the emotion of visiting your grave for the first time in fifteen days really affected us more than we thought it would.

We love you.
We miss you so much.
To the moon and back.
Sweet Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Apr21

Leaving

Posted on April 21, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 21st April

Today we say goodbye to our younger son and his girlfriend. Having spent fifteen days in Spain with them both, we went off to Lisbon by coach, ready to fly tomorrow.

Before leaving, we stopped in Elvas, a frontier, fortress town, built within twelve-point star-shaped walls. We walked up and down narrow cobbled streets, peering into shop windows selling embroidered linens, silk flowers, and even cockatiels and lovebirds. Nearly all the buildings are whitewashed, with yellow ochre accents.
A coffee and pastry at a pavement cafe, time spent people watching and listening to the local sounds, made for a very pleasant morning.

The coach journey, (the first one we have made, since I don’t know when), was very comfortable. We drove through rolling countryside, covered with vineyards, olive groves, cork trees with stripped trunks, leaving a deep iron-oxide, rich brown colour, and fields of cows and sheep. The land is certainly well utilised.

The hotel, The Lisboa Tryp is excellent, and a short walk tomorrow morning to departures.

So there we are, the end of our non-sunny, Spanish sojourn.
You would have enjoyed this break, I’m sure. You loved travelling to anywhere new, taking in different cultures, language and food.
I miss you so much not being with us.
It’s just so very different.

Sweet dreams sweetheart.
Travel far and wide.
Love you forever.
My Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Arched entrance to the fortified town of Elvas

One of the many churches

Ancient doorway

Steep cobbled street

The main shopping street

Cappuccino at a pavement cafe

Beautiful cobbled walkways with ironwork balconies above

Entrance into the town, for pedestrians and vehicles

Part of the towns' walls

Apr20

The rain

Posted on April 20, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 20th April

The rain in Spain……..
Falls mainly in Badajoz!

Well, so it seems to be.
We keep being told that this weather pattern is just so unusual, that normally the skies are cloudless, with temperatures into the eighties.

Oh well, never mind, and all that…..
We have enjoyed our fifteen day break with our younger son and his girlfriend, and there have been some sunny days, not least his birthday last Sunday.

But all good things must come to an end, and we are off to Lisbon tomorrow lunchtime, for a flight back to England on Friday morning.

It would have been better though, to have had some warmer weather……. all those shorts, t-shirts, swimming costumes have remained in our suitcase. Oh, c’est la vie! or as they say it here….. ¡así es la vida!

You would forever be telling us: “Oh, you need rain to survive, the ground needs the rain for plants to grow, animals need need rain to drink, stop moaning!”

💧 ☔ 💦 💧 ☔ 💦 💧 ☔ 💦 💧 ☔ 💦

So, it’s ok to cry, the clouds do it too.
Raindrops play a beautiful lullaby boo.

In the rain, no one sees your tears.
Raindrops sparkle as the sun appears.

Let the rain wash away the pain.
It may be grey, but it can’t forever rain.

Love you my sweetheart.
Dearest Angel son.
Missing you every day.

xxxxxxx