Category Archives: brain tumour

Apr16

The wind

Posted on April 16, 2016 by MeRaw

Saturday 16th April

The footprints may be washed away
The sand is all brushed off
Salty shoes are cleaned once more
As water splashes from crest to trough.

I miss those walks along the beach
Yellow sand and azure sky
Such happy times we used to have
Thinking of you, with a tear in my eye.

But the wind still blows your name
Across the sparkling sea
And waves break gently on the shore
Bringing your memories back to me.

April 2014. Porthkidney Sands

Love you so very much
My precious little beach boy
Dearest darling Angel son
Who filled our lives with joy.

xxxxxxx

The sky this evening

A fiery plume

Apr15

400

Posted on April 15, 2016 by MeRaw

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Friday 15th April

Another day on the long road of grief,
No end in sight, just twists and turns.

Uneven pot-holes to trip you up,
Steep hills that tire and sap energy.

Four hundred days without you,
And such a very long time it’s been.

So many happy memories to treasure,
But nothing is as good as the real thing.

Love you to the moon and back,
My beloved, precious Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Tonight's sky

Apr14

Mi Mariposa

Posted on April 14, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 14th April

A butterfly came to visit today.
Was it you?

We were talking about you.
Remembering this day
Six years ago.
Zorbing on Plymouth Hoe.
Laughing, smiling, having fun.

Your brother took us to a bar today,
Outside, on the pavement.
Tables, chairs, parasols.
A butterfly landed on my hand.
It stayed on my finger for ages.

Was that you my sweetie?
I’d love to think it was you.
Small and delicate, so calm.
Holding on, being with us.
Sharing lunch and chatter.

A butterfly.
Mi mariposa.
My sweet Angel.

xxxxxxx

Zorbing

In the children's play park, 14.4.2010

The tiny butterfly that stayed on my finger for a long time

Apr13

Foraging

Posted on April 13, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 13th April

This morning your brother and his girlfriend drove us and their dog across the border into Portugal, to Campo Maior. A quaint little town, where we stopped for coffee and pastries, then on to the large lake, towards the west.
It is here that the pair of them go fishing or kite surfing, but today’s purpose was to find and collect wild asparagus.
This delicacy grows mostly at the base of trees, amongst brambles and prickly thistles.
Whilst dad and I walked down to the lake shore, with the dog bounding and running around like a mad thing, your brother and girlfriend were foraging for the elusive vegetable.
After about three quarters of an hour, they appeared with big grins on their faces, and were most pleased to have found a good amount of the tasty stems.
So, asparagus as a side dish it is, for the next few meals.

I think you would have enjoyed the walk; all that fresh air, and peace and quiet.

Missing you always.
Loving you forever.
Darling Angel son.

xxxxxxx

A gnarly old tree in the meadow

Thistle

View down to the lake

Meadow of wildflowers

Danko

Frankie Angel Bear amongst the meadow wildflowers

Frankie Angel Bear on top of the car

Dad and your brother enjoying a beer

Some of tonight's asparagus

Apr12

Precious, sweet Angel

Posted on April 12, 2016 by MeRaw

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Tuesday 12th April

Living every day in the moment.
At times walking through a minefield;
Treading softly, or marching purposely.
Memories are dotted everywhere.
Some are hidden deep from view,
Some are just below the surface.
Not knowing which, when or how
One of those memories will explode,
Setting off a flood of emotions.
You can’t explain, you don’t know why;
Simply unable to find the right words.
Tears stream down, uncontrollably,
As a moment in time is recalled.
Or a big, knowing smile spreads
As happy exploits come to the fore.
You are there, forever and always
In my head, my heart and my soul.
And any second I am reminded of you,
Wonderful, but bittersweet memories.
Love you my precious, sweet Angel.

xxxxxxx

Yellow flowers in the garden

The sky this evening

Apr11

Every single minute

Posted on April 11, 2016 by MeRaw

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Monday 11th April

Our younger son has reliably informed us that February and March in Spain, were unusually warm with bright-blue sky days.
So, we arrive, and bring cooler temperatures and rain.
Never mind, it is good to see him.

But, I have missed you.
I am missing you.

Every single minute.
You are always in my thoughts.

I love you.
I love you so very much.

That you’re not here, hurts.
It hurts so very much.

It doesn’t seem real.
And it doesn’t seem right.

Every single minute
You’re there in my heart.

Beloved Angel son.
Gone far too soon.

xxxxxxx

Wisteria in the garden

A dark and fiery sky tonight, driving back from the stores

More rain on the way

Apr10

Ever

Posted on April 10, 2016 by MeRaw

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Sunday 10th April

“No matter where I go,
I take you with me in my heart.
No one could ever replace you.
Ever.”

We spend a quiet day with your brother and his girlfriend; walking around the old town of Badajoz, sipping coffee in the square, marvelling at the intricate mosaic work on the buildings, and ambling through the gardens of the Alcazaba.

Love you sweetie.
With me always.

xxxxxxx

The gardens of the old castle

Wooden doors with an old coat of arms above

The cobbled walkway

Plaza Alta

Sundown this evening

Apr9

I know you’re somewhere

Posted on April 9, 2016 by MeRaw

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Saturday 9th April

This morning’s sunrise was so beautiful, as I watched it rise above the rooftops in the east.
And I thought of you.

We spent the morning at Lisbon Oceanarium: it was your brother’s choice. And a good one it was, too.
You have been to many wonderful aquariums, in Townsville, Australia, Myrtle Beach, USA, and Plymouth, UK, to name a few. You did like the ocean creatures and were fascinated by sharks, dolphins, penguins and rays.
I think you would have liked today. So much to see in the massive central tank, with many, many other exhibits and ocean life branching out from the main attraction.

After lunch, we drove east, into Spain, to your brother’s girlfriend’s house.

I really wish you could be here with all of us, but I suppose you are in spirit. And I’ll hold you close.

I know you’re somewhere.

Sweetheart.
Dearest Angel son.

xxxxxxx

This morning's sunrise from the hotel

Oceanário de Lisboa

Dad and I standing beneath a waterfall

A strange looking sunfish

Fabulous tropical fish

Apr8

A day at the beach

Posted on April 8, 2016 by MeRaw

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Friday 8th April

After breakfast this morning, dad and I walked a mile and a half to the Corte Inglés (an up-market department store), for a Starbucks. A lovely stroll in the sunshine.

At twelve thirty, almost on the dot, your brother and his girlfriend arrived, picked us up from the hotel, and drove south out of Lisbon to a quiet beach area called Praia da Fonte da Telha. We had lunch and a few beers at a superb restaurant, then sat on the sand watching the kite and wind surfers. A fabulous way to spend a few hours.

I’m not sure you would have enjoyed this evening, though: probably far too late for you ~ we didn’t go out until eight thirty, sat down to order dinner at ten, and returned to the hotel just before midnight. Portuguese and Spanish people do eat late.
You would always have your dinner at six, on the dot. Such a hard and fastened routine for you. But it was what you had become used to.

Thinking of you every step of the way.
Love you so very much.
Missing you always.

xxxxxxx

The beach bar sandy seating area

A terrific setting for lunch

Dad, your brother and I

Smiling in the sunshine

Frankie Angel Bear on the sand dunes

A quiet spot

Apr7

Roam the roads of lands remote

Posted on April 7, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 7th April

“To move, to breathe, to fly, to float,
To roam the roads of lands remote,
To travel is to live.”

~ Hans Christian Andersen

A year ago it was the church service in honour of your short, but amazing life.
A whole year ago.

The post from a year ago today

And here we are in sunny Lisbon, looking out over the terracotta rooftops.
We’ll meet up with your brother and his girlfriend tomorrow.

We’ve brought you with us, though. You are here in spirit my darling.

I’m sure you’d like the bustling, busy city. You’d have to be careful crossing the roads though, as the drivers seem quite manic. U-turns, sudden stops, swerving in front of on-coming traffic, stopping in the middle of the road; you have to watch your step.

Love you so very much.
Thinking of you today and always.
Missing you like crazy.
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxxx