Category Archives: brain tumour

Feb26

Lasts a lifetime

Posted on February 26, 2016 by MeRaw

Friday 26th February

“A smile happens in a flash
It’s memory lasts a lifetime.”

You had such a cheeky grin,
Easy to see when you were happy.
Laughter spread from within,
When something tickled your fancy.

A great big smile across your face,
Let us know you were having fun.
That we had chosen the right place,
Giving you the very best, bar none.

Missing you every single day,
Missing your happy personality.
Wishing you’d been able to stay,
To spread your saucy individuality.

Love you forever
Sweet Angel son.
xxxxxxx

August 2010 Harry Potter Land, Orlando

Feb25

Another alien blob

Posted on February 25, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 25th February

I travelled to Exeter today with my husband, to have another alien blob, this time removed from my back.
At my previous dermatology appointment, the consultant spotted a suspect basal cell carcinoma.
Sounds dodgy, but not as bad as a melanoma.
The blob that was cut out was quite a sizeable chunk; it was put in a specimen pot, to be sent to the pathology lab.
I had a number of deep stitches, that will dissolve, six surface stitches, steri strips, and finally a bigger dressing.

In twelve days I’ll have the stitches out, and then in three to four weeks, the results. So I’ll have to wait patiently.

We’re staying overnight in the hotel where we would always stay with you.
So many memories….

We wish you were here with us.

It’s Thursday.
Fifty weeks ago today.
Three hundred and fifty days.

I miss you so much.
My darling Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Feb24

From my heart to yours

Posted on February 24, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 24th February

“Your body is away from me,
but there is a window open
from my heart to yours.”
Rumi

My heart will always hold yours,
Beating together as one.
Our love forever endures,
My darling, my precious son.

Although I might seem strong
Not one single day goes by
When memories come along
Bringing a tear to my eye.

Your face lit up with such joy
When told of future holidays.
Remaining forever a young boy
Joining in the fun, as always.

Now, you’re within my heart
I’ll hold you tightly for all time
Then we’ll never be apart
Beloved Angel son of mine.

Miss you.
Love you.

xxxxxxx

Feb23

Dulces sueños

Posted on February 23, 2016 by MeRaw

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Tuesday 23rd February

Dulces sueños.
Sweet dreams.

Your brother’s girlfriend’s mum passed away this afternoon.
She had been struggling with cancer for the last few months, and finally succumbed, surrounded by her family in Spain.

Another twinkling star in the heavens this evening.

Such an elegant, beautiful woman.
Such an awful, heartless disease.

If you meet each other tonight
Hug and hold each other tight.
May your stars twinkle bright
In the darkness, bringing light.

Sleep my Angel, sleep well tonight.

Dulces sueños xxxxxxx

The harbour and slipway this afternoon

Feb22

Worth the price

Posted on February 22, 2016 by MeRaw

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Monday 22nd February

“Love will always cost you grief.
And
Love is always worth the price.”

That my grief is so painful
Is purely because
I love you so much
And miss what was.

That my heart is breaking
Is purely because
I think of you often
And miss what was.

That my tears fall freely
Is purely because
I’m remembering you
And I miss what was.

To the moon and back, sweetheart.
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

Feb21

The fun

Posted on February 21, 2016 by MeRaw

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Sunday 21st February

I’ll miss the fun we used to have,
All the smiles, the laughs we shared.
Chasing around like little kids,
Nothing else could be compared.

I’ll miss the fun we used to have,
Travelling to all the different places.
New cultures, food and destinations,
With big smiles on everyones’ faces.

I’ll miss the fun we used to have,
Exciting times, adventures new.
Theme parks and rollercoasters,
Posing beside the Egyptian statue.

I’ll miss the fun I had with you.
I’ll miss everything we used to do.

Love you forever.
Beloved Angel son.
xxxxxxx

Outside the Revenge of the Mummy ride, Universal Studios, Florida. 2007 and 2013

Feb20

I thought of you and smiled

Posted on February 20, 2016 by MeRaw

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Saturday 20th February

I thought of you and smiled, despite the sadness.

It’s what you did to people.
You made them smile.

Almost every morning you would wake up, come bounding into our room, and ask the question: “Where are we going today? What are we going to do?”

We had so many happy family days out in the local area.
You liked being outdoors, and enjoyed having fun in the children’s play-park.
Swings, slides, seesaws, ziplines and flying kites; you had so much energy, and played like a big kid at heart.

May 2002, with dad, your brother, auntie and cousin. 17 years old, and enjoying fun and games at the park

April 2002. A ride on the chairoplane, at a local theme park

We all miss your delightful spirit and vitality. You made us go out and about, exploring, breathing in fresh air, taking risks, being healthy and smiling.
Always smiling.

I miss your smile, sweetie.
I miss your laughter.
I miss your get-up-and-go.
I miss the fun times we used to have together.

Love you dearest Angel son.
Thinking of you, and smiling.

xxxxxxx

Feb19

What I had

Posted on February 19, 2016 by MeRaw

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Friday 19th February

Holding on
To who I was
And what
I had.

Reliving days
And memories.
Being reminded
By sights and sounds.

Little things
That have
Meaning
Attached.

Emotions
Rekindled.

Sadness within
Brought to
The surface.

Random thoughts
Hit
Head on.

A sharp
Intake
Of breath.

Reaching out
To hold on
In case
Balance
Fails.

A wobble
Slight stumble.

Mask falls
Barriers drop.

Tears well up.
Feelings
Of utter
Desolation.

Grief compounded.
Absence becomes
Overwhelming.

Foundering
Between
Before
And
After.

Love you forever.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxxxx

Raindrops on your red roses today

Feb18

Love surrounds

Posted on February 18, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 18th February

I wake up sad
My cheeky lad.

No voices heard
No, not a word.

Another Thursday
Filling with dismay.

It’s nearly here
One lonely year.

Forty nine weeks
Tears down cheeks.

My heart aches
With pain it breaks.

Sadness abounds
But love surrounds.

Your spirit flies
Across the skies.

Love you baby
Miss you like crazy.

xxxxxxx

Feb17

How well you bounce

Posted on February 17, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 17th February

“Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce.” Tigger

In January 1992 we had a fabulous holiday to Forster, on the north coast of New South Wales, Australia. Staying in a holiday park, we spent days on the beach, swimming in the ocean, walking along the lake shores, visiting the fun fair, and having a go at fishing.

You, your brother and Dad had bought little fishing rods, and spent a morning baiting, casting and trying to catch ‘Jaws’. I can’t remember any fish being caught, but your brother did hook an octopus, and brought it to shore. Dad didn’t know what to do with it; the octopus was quite a large specimen. A number of onlookers became rather excited, and a bidding war began, between a couple of men, one of whom owned a restaurant.
I think your brother enjoyed his fishing that morning, being able to walk away a few dollars to the good, probably spending some in the afternoon at the fun fair.

At our holiday accommodation, you both made friends with other children on vacation, and had fun on the tennis courts, and the trampoline. You very much enjoyed getting rid of excess energy, bouncing away with your brother.

Such a happy, carefree time.
Are you up there, bouncing on the fluffy, white clouds? I bet they are great for jumping on, across, and through. I can just imagine your big grin, with arms and legs flying wildly in all directions.

Love you so much my darling.
Missing you always.
My bouncing little Tigger.

xxxxxxx