Category Archives: brain tumour

Aug9

The day after Snowdon

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Sunday 9th August

Oh my, what an amazing day yesterday turned out to be. We can’t stop thinking, talking, and remembering all that we achieved.

We keep looking at all the photographs and smiling. We truly had you in our hearts when we walked up Mount Snowdon.

The only downside is how our bodies are feeling this morning. Muscles we didn’t even know existed are aching and throbbing with every step we take. But the pain is worth it. We did our trek in honour of you. We wish we didn’t have to. We wish we were elsewhere. With you. But that is not to be.

As we made our return journey down South through Wales, the rain and mist were covering the mountain ranges. How lucky were we to have such splendid weather yesterday? You must have organised that for us.

And as we were driving along, we again passed the row of yellow, smiling sunflowers. You were waving us on our way again, weren’t you?

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Waving sunflowers through the car window.

We wish you were still with us.
Love you so much my little sunshine.
Fly high my starman.
xxxx

Aug8

The ascent of Snowdon

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Saturday 8th August

Well, we did it. Sore feet, aching backs and tired legs, but we jolly well did it.
We climbed Mount Snowdon today. Wow, what an amazing feeling to reach the summit. 1080m above sea level.

About twenty different male cancer charities took part today, on the eighth annual testicular cancer trek. Survivors and family members gathered at the train station in Llanberis, and set off at about 9:45am.

My goodness, what a steep start to the climb, almost off-putting, but we kept plodding along. My husband, myself and my sister. And we all took a bit of Frank with us. Wearing black t-shirts, emblazoned with Frank’s name, flags, toys and a banner for when we reached the summit, we were truly trekking in his memory. I hope he would have been proud of us.

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Just before the start.

I found the climb to be quite arduous, and we finally reached the summit about 2:30pm. We made it, we achieved what we set out to do.

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Snowdonia National Park.

We thought the walk back would be easier, but my goodness, the steepness of the track, and the loose shale made the going pretty tricky.

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Frank's dolphin came to Snowdon.

The weather was kind to us all day, and so made for outstanding views. Truly breathtaking and a very proud moment for us.

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At the summit.

We finally arrived back from where we began at 6pm, some eight hours later. Completely wiped out, but so pleased we had achieved our goal. We met so many inspirational people, who were more than willing to stop and chat.

So Frank, we climbed a mountain in honour of you. I wish we didn’t have to do it, but three people who stopped me on the way, and asked about our t-shirts, said you would have been so proud, and that you were smiling down on us.

Love you so very much my sweet Angel.
xxx

Aug7

Driving to Caernarfon

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Friday 7th August

An early start via Starbucks for the essential morning cappuccino, then we’re on our way to Wales, crossing the Severn Bridge. We’re on our way to Snowdon. For you.

Google Maps said the journey would take four hours. I picked out Builth Wells as a half way stop for a break, and that did work out at a little over two hours.

Driving along, we rounded a bend, and came across a superb display of sunflowers, with all the faces happily turned towards the sun. It was as if you were standing on the roadside, waving us along on our way. It did bring tears to our eyes. Lots of simple things seem to do that these days. Things that remind us of you.

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The second half of the journey took much longer, as we were stuck behind slower traffic. We finally rolled into Caernarfon about three thirty, six hours after setting off. Early dinner and a cold beer were very welcome, followed by a stroll around the castle.

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Caernarfon Castle

This is the first time in one hundred and twenty one days that we haven’t visited you at your resting place. But I feel your presence with us somehow. We have brought you along, and will take you up the mountain tomorrow. You are in our hearts, always. Plus, your toy dolphin slept on our hotel bed last night, and is here again tonight. I will put him in my backpack and walk him to the very top of Mount Snowdon. Of that you can be certain.

Sending kisses to Heaven.
Love you forever my Angel.
xxxx

Aug6

On our way to Wales

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Thursday 6th August

We came to see you first thing this morning, and placed new flowers in the vases. The sunflowers are still going strong, looking amazing, so I left those with you.

We are on our way to Wales, to climb Mount Snowdon in your memory, with a large group of people ~ survivors and family members ~ for the annual testicular cancer trek. Me, Dad and my sister will reach the summit, whatever it takes.

We have you in our hearts, as always.
I also have your photograph, a large banner, t-shirts with your name, flags, and a soft toy dolphin that used to lie on your bed.

Two years ago today we were down in Islamorada, and had lunch at Robbie’s Marina. My brother and his wife came to stay for a few days, so we visited as many places as possible altogether. The fish tacos at Robbie’s are the best.

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Frank at Robbie's Marina

We had spent the morning at Bahia Honda State Park, swimming and walking around. I remember the beautiful butterflies and the green and black iguanas. You had fun chasing them, and then had a good time playing in the sea with Dad.

Last year, on this day we were at Aquatica and you had such a wonderful time. Ihu’s Breakaway Falls had just opened as a new ride, and you just had to try it out ~ three times, one go after another. We swam in the surf pool, had fun on the family tube ride, and spent ages on the river rapids.

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Aquatica August 2014

August was always a time for family fun, holidays and adventures. So many happy memories.

We will take you with us, wherever we go, for as long as we can.

Love you forever my sweetheart.
Dearest Angel son.
xxxx

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Aug5

Nan’s birthday

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Wednesday 5th August

Today was Nan’s birthday, although for the past twenty or so years, we would not be with her, but off on our holidays. We would normally be on a beach or in a theme park. In fact, in 2012 we had gone to Ocala to the Don Garlits Museum of Drag Racing and then Silver Springs. I think you preferred the alligators to the cars.

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Normally we would have a little get-together before we flew away to exchange cards and gifts. This year we celebrated with her, but without you. It was a birthday tinged with sadness. You were her first grandchild, and she loved you dearly and misses you so much.

I know you would have given her a big hug and a kiss, and wished her many happy returns.

We miss you.
Such a lot.
We love you to infinity and beyond.
Our darling son.
xxxx

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Aug4

Another butterfly

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Tuesday 4th August

A different butterfly flew down to your flowers today when we came to your graveside.
You again?
Letting us know that you are still with us?
I would love to think so.

“They whom we love and lose
Are no longer where they were before.
They are now……
Wherever we are.”

How true are those words?
You are now with us, forever, wherever we happen to be.
You’re in our hearts, always in our thoughts, all around us, all the time.

Missing you so much.
Love you my StarMan.
Angel kisses xxxxx

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Aug1

August

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Saturday 1st August

August, and we’d normally be somewhere between South Carolina and Florida by now. Or in earlier years, sailing around Tobago, Bermuda or the Virgin Islands. For the last twenty years we have been somewhere other than here at home.

You so looked forward to our summer vacations, at first with your brother, and then for the last ten years or so, with just Dad and me.

Here you are, on August 1st, three years ago in Myrtle Beach. Just chillin’ by the fountain at Market Commons ~ it was a hot afternoon.

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We are having a hard time adjusting to the reality that our holidays from now on, are going to be without you. All our planning and consideration was done with you in mind. With Asperger’s you did like your routine, you didn’t really enjoy noisy, crowded places, and always wanted to know what the plan or itinerary entailed. “What are we doing today?”, “Where are we going tomorrow?”, “It’s twelve thirty, I need my lunch!”, “When we get to Orlando, where shall we go first of all?”, “It’s nine thirty I need my beauty sleep”……

We used to arrive at the theme parks about half an hour before opening, to park, to queue through the bag-checks, and then you’d make your own way to your favourite rides, to try and beat the long lines of waiting people. You had so much fun, and it was a joy to see your face as you came out of the ride’s exit with the biggest grin. By midday it was great to sit somewhere in air-conditioned comfort, have a bite to eat and a cold drink. Then, if you wanted, you’d do another round of the park, picking and choosing where to go next. If the place became too crowded, we’d leave and perhaps drive to have a meander around a cool shopping mall, then back to our villa for dinner, bath and bed.

Simple, family life. No worries, no hassles, no problems. Just fun, relaxation, laughter and love.

We’re sure going to miss those times with you.

Now you’re on your heavenly vacation, my little starman.
Love you sweet Angel xxxx

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Jul31

Butterfly

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Friday 31st July

We both felt a little sad today, at different times, with various small things sparking off a few tears. I know this is going to keep happening for a long time, but the suddenness of the occurrence catches you off guard.

A thought, a sound, a smell, a date in the calendar. Photographs, your toys, books, clothes, even food, all hold pieces of significance and so many, many special memories. And it doesn’t take much for the tears to begin to fall.

As I walked up to your graveside this morning, I noticed a large red admiral butterfly had alighted on your flowers.
It stayed there for quite some time.
Was that a sign from you?
I would dearly like to think so.
The butterfly looked really delicate and beautiful, and it did make me smile.

Sending you butterfly kisses.
Love you my Angel xxxx

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