Thursday 6th October
Thursday.
It’s Thursday again
So I’m thinking of you
Remembering.
Nothing’s
Changed
But everything
Is so different.
I re-live
That Thursday night
You went to sleep.
Forever.
So every
Single morning
Is now the same.
Silence.
I wake up
And you are
Not there.
Gone.
I love you
My darling Angel
And miss you so much.
It’s Thursday again.
xxxxxx
Wednesday 5th October
Seven years ago today, my father passed away from pancreatic cancer.
Here is a little of his story that I wrote last year.
Hank was a big part of our lives every summer when we visited America and the islands, and stayed on his yacht. Starting in 1994 when we went to Bermuda, to Tobago, the Virgin Islands, the Keys, through to 2009 (when he passed away) in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina; we always had great adventures.
I hope you and your grandfather meet up for a laugh, a hug, and a long chat about all the good times you spent together.
Frank and Hank.
My son and my father.
Miss you both.
Love you forever.
xxxxxx
Low tide in the harbour this afternoon
Tuesday 4th October
I will miss you forever
That will not change
Today, tomorrow
The day after that
Each day
Every day
Always.
I think about you
All the time
Morning, noon
And night
I can’t stop
Thinking about you
Always.
I love you
I still love you
No matter
How much time
Has gone by
I will love you
Always.
Always my Angel
xxxxxx
Monday 3rd October
It was two years ago today
We visited the Dart Valley Railway
Autumn sunshine melted clouds away
Ducks paddled, wings flapping spray
Drinks and snacks in the nearby cafe
A perfect, fun filled, simple day
I just wish you were here to stay.
Miss you sweetheart
Love you forever
Precious Angel son.
xxxxxx
Sunday 2nd October
Bought your tickets for Saturday?
Singers will sing, guitars will play.
Phone your friends, text that mate
Put it in your diary, save the date.
Four great charities, close to home
Just don’t stay in and be alone.
Have a fun night, dance and eat
So sing along, and tap those feet.
Superb entertainment just for you
Come along, you know you want to.
St. Ives Guildhall is where it’s at
Walk right in, on the welcome mat.
Two thirty, that’s when you can enter
Until eleven, it’ll cost you a tenner.
There is less than a week to go before our charity event. Four local families joining together to put on a feast of music, dance, comedy and delicious food. Each of the families has been affected in some way by a dreadful disease: testicular cancer, meningitis, brain and bowel cancer.
We hope the event will be a success, so that we can raise awareness and collect money for the four charities.
And all because of you, my darling.
Love you forever
Sweetheart Angel son
xxxxxx
A panorama of the harbour this afternoon
Saturday 1st October
Well, today was a first for me, doing something I had not done before…..
I was interviewed by our local BBC radio station: raising awareness of testicular cancer, and promoting our charity event, taking place a week today.
I had set the alarm for 5:40am, we were out of the house by 6:30am, arriving within the hour at BBC Radio Cornwall, in Truro, just in time for a coffee, before going live on air.
The presenter was wonderful, had a great manner, and the ability to put one at ease in a caring but professional way.
I was there with another lady who had lost her son to meningitis; and we each told our stories, highlighting the need for knowledge and awareness of these dreadful diseases.
My part in the interview lasted for about four minutes, and I hope I did you proud my darling, talking about you, what you went through, and how our lives irrevocably changed.
On the way home, driving in the car, a small clip of my interview was on the main lunchtime news. It really was strange to hear my own voice, talking about our family. It was quite surreal, and little sad.
I will have to download the whole of the breakfast show, (three hours), and edit out all but the important ten minutes worth.
As we walked out of the studio, a bright rainbow was curved overhead. Was that you sweetie, letting me know you were with me? I would really like to think so. All of this was done because of you. I wish it wasn’t so, but I have to do something to honour your life, and keep raising awareness so that signs and symptoms are more easily talked about, and concerns are taken to the doctor or health professional.
Testicular Cancer is almost always curable if it is caught early enough.
Thinking of you so much.
Missing you every moment.
Love you to the moon and back.
Dearest darling Angel son.
xxxxxx
Live in the BBC studio this morning
Through the studio window ~ photo taken by my husband ~ on the outside looking in
With the BBC breakfast presenter following our interview
The harbour looking pretty again this afternoon
Friday 30th September
Leaves fall
Short days
Recall
Holidays.
Blazing fire
Chill breeze
Warm attire
Rough seas.
Crisp air
Bright star
Up there
You are.
Thinking of you always
Missing you every day
Love you forever
Darling Angel son.
xxxxxx
Porthmeor this afternoon
Crisp and clear
Sunny harbour
Cloud reflections
Thursday 29th September
Sparkling raindrops glistening on delicate flower petals
Golden brown leaves beginning to fall from overhanging branches
Autumnal mists clear to give some afternoon warmth
And I’m sensing your quiet presence all around me today
A soft whisper, a gentle touch, a voice in the shadows
I know you’re still with me, only a heartbeat away.
It’s Thursday again.
Eighty one weeks
Love you forever
Missing you always.
xxxxxx
Wednesday 28th September
Standing on the edge looking in
Unable to join; still mourning
No one sees the tears falling
It’s your name that I’m calling
As up on high you’re soaring
A new day of grief, dawning.
I love you now
I love you still
Always have
Always will.
Missing you every moment.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxxx
Silvery sea in the harbour
Tuesday 27th September
This was our second day spent raising awareness and collecting monies in our local supermarket, for our four charities.
We began at 9:00am and finally packed up at 5:00pm; a long day, with a couple of breaks, but well worth it. Other volunteers helped out too, allowing us time to shop, go home for some lunch, and of course, time to visit you.
We spoke to a number of your schoolmates and teachers. One remembered you in primary school, and commented on your love of He-Man and She-Ra books. She said you would get a group of children in turn, to play the part of He-Man’s Battle Cat, and you would ride on their backs, pretending to be the Master of the Universe, shouting “I have the power!”
A teacher’s aide recalled you in school, always walking around with a bundle of books under your arm and a little grin on your face.
Dad made the comment that for most of the time we get on with our lives, dealing with our grief and thoughts about you, mostly in private.
On days like today, when we are raising awareness of testicular cancer and collecting monies for the charity in honour of you, then our grief is suddenly made tremendously public.
The box is opened up wide for all to peer in and poke about inside.
Most of the time I can cope; able to talk about you, your treatment and ultimately what happened at the end.
But sometimes I falter, and the mask crumbles, and I no longer seem to be able to show the strength necessary to hold back tears.
We do miss you so much sweetie.
Love you forever.
Darling Angel son.
xxxxxx
The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son) 