Cemetery solitude

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Sunday 19th July

Is it peculiar or a little weird to make daily visits to a cemetery? Are we being odd or a little crazy? Do we keep prolonging our grief?

No, the answer, from me, is no to all of the above. We come to your graveside because we love you, and we need to tell you every day. We want to be close to your spirit, to let you know you aren’t alone.

We find it hard to absorb the reality that you are no longer with us. We are having to adjust our souls, not to carry on without you, but to carry you within us, forevermore.

This afternoon it was so peaceful there. Only joyful birdsong could be heard. A squirrel ran up the trunk of a large pine tree, and a collarless black cat sauntered past.

I will think of you in my sleepless solitude tonight, as I do every night. You are in my heart and mind always.

We miss you.
We’re here for you.
We love you.

Angel son xxxx

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12 responses »

    • I completely understand what you are saying. And I know you’re speaking the truth.
      But unless you are the parent of a special needs child, (actually a 30 year old adult), for whom you have spent his entire life looking out for him, fighting for the best education, health, acceptance by others etc.
      For whom you have loved, cared for, travelled with, taught, enjoyed highs and lows, accepted challenging behaviours, apologised for etc.
      And then to watch that child go through a gruelling regime of chemotherapy, to be told everything was looking positive, but to then have it all snatched away in an instant.
      To then have to bury your child……
      Only then might you understand the enormous grief that we are facing.
      We will make new memories, eventually, I’m sure.
      These memories will be bittersweet for us.
      We’ll travel, we’ll meet friends old and new, we will find a happiness of sorts.
      But right now it seems difficult.
      But we’ll get there.
      x

      Liked by 1 person

      • No, I didn’t have a special needs child, but I did have a 10-month-old niece who was murdered. We didn’t have her in our lives for years — we missed out on that. But, we did quite a bit of fighting for her during the ensuing legal battle. It’s been a long time, but I still miss her and wonder what kind of woman she would’ve become.

        I don’t think we need to have the exact same experience of losing someone we love to understand grief. I don’t think that you wouldn’t be able to understand the enormous grief my family faced after Christina was murdered, and I also don’t think that I needed to have a lost a special needs child to understand your family’s grief. Perhaps my mention of making new memories was too early in your grieving process, but I was only trying to help you look forward… just a little bit.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Beautiful words for what is such a beautiful love and overwhelming loss. Bereavement is about honouring your memories & mourning your devastating loss. Creating new memories will happen when you are ready to but grieving takes time #inyourowntime. With much love, Caroline xx

    Liked by 1 person

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