Monthly Archives: August 2015

Aug11

Beautiful Memories

Posted on August 11, 2015 by MeRaw

Tuesday 11th August

You really did leave behind so many beautiful memories for us to treasure.
And these memories can never be taken away, they just seem to become more intense, every little thing now has a deeper meaning.

Thinking about you, about all that we did, about happier times, all those events, have a special place in my heart, but each and every one of those memories is now tinged with sadness.

They are still the same memories, but now they are bittersweet to me. The memories we have of you are wonderful, but we have to accept that that is all we have, all that we have left of you. There will be no new memories to be made. Ever.

My memories of you are therefore happy and sad, at the same time. I am smiling, and yet tears run down my face.

For the last few years, we would probably be down in the Florida Keys right now. Here you are, on the first night of our arrival at the Islander Resort in Islamorada. We had dinner in the open air restaurant beside the pool, where I had chosen a salad, and you picked the hibiscus flower from my plate, and put it behind your ear.

Frank at the Islander

You look so sweet and innocent, twenty six years old, and not a care in the world. We looked after you, made sure you were safe, and tried to give you everything we could.

Beautiful memories.
Happy times.
Sadly no more.

Love you my darling Angel son.
xxx

Aug10

Home safely

Posted on August 10, 2015 by MeRaw

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Monday 10th August

We arrived home safely this afternoon, still with aches and pains in our calves and shoulders, but they are somewhat easing. We all feel a great sense of achievement, having done something positive, and special, in memory and in honour of you. I dearly hope you are proud of us. Smiling down on us all.

After dropping off my sister, we came to see you. We talked for quite some time, telling you about our weekend climb to the top of Mount Snowdon ~ but you knew all about that anyway, didn’t you? Because you came along too.

Your beautiful flowers

We tidied your graveside flowers, as the weather had been quite stormy since we’d been away. Even your sunflowers were still going strong. It’s good to be back close to you.

Your horse standing guard

I think a lot of people learnt about you this weekend.
You were so very special.
Love you more than words can say.
Precious Angel xxx

Aug9

The day after Snowdon

Posted on August 9, 2015 by MeRaw

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Sunday 9th August

Oh my, what an amazing day yesterday turned out to be. We can’t stop thinking, talking, and remembering all that we achieved.

We keep looking at all the photographs and smiling. We truly had you in our hearts when we walked up Mount Snowdon.

The only downside is how our bodies are feeling this morning. Muscles we didn’t even know existed are aching and throbbing with every step we take. But the pain is worth it. We did our trek in honour of you. We wish we didn’t have to. We wish we were elsewhere. With you. But that is not to be.

As we made our return journey down South through Wales, the rain and mist were covering the mountain ranges. How lucky were we to have such splendid weather yesterday? You must have organised that for us.

And as we were driving along, we again passed the row of yellow, smiling sunflowers. You were waving us on our way again, weren’t you?

Waving sunflowers through the car window.

We wish you were still with us.
Love you so much my little sunshine.
Fly high my starman.
xxxx

Aug8

The ascent of Snowdon

Posted on August 8, 2015 by MeRaw

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Saturday 8th August

Well, we did it. Sore feet, aching backs and tired legs, but we jolly well did it.
We climbed Mount Snowdon today. Wow, what an amazing feeling to reach the summit. 1080m above sea level.

About twenty different male cancer charities took part today, on the eighth annual testicular cancer trek. Survivors and family members gathered at the train station in Llanberis, and set off at about 9:45am.

My goodness, what a steep start to the climb, almost off-putting, but we kept plodding along. My husband, myself and my sister. And we all took a bit of Frank with us. Wearing black t-shirts, emblazoned with Frank’s name, flags, toys and a banner for when we reached the summit, we were truly trekking in his memory. I hope he would have been proud of us.

Just before the start.

I found the climb to be quite arduous, and we finally reached the summit about 2:30pm. We made it, we achieved what we set out to do.

Snowdonia National Park.

We thought the walk back would be easier, but my goodness, the steepness of the track, and the loose shale made the going pretty tricky.

Frank's dolphin came to Snowdon.

The weather was kind to us all day, and so made for outstanding views. Truly breathtaking and a very proud moment for us.

At the summit.

We finally arrived back from where we began at 6pm, some eight hours later. Completely wiped out, but so pleased we had achieved our goal. We met so many inspirational people, who were more than willing to stop and chat.

So Frank, we climbed a mountain in honour of you. I wish we didn’t have to do it, but three people who stopped me on the way, and asked about our t-shirts, said you would have been so proud, and that you were smiling down on us.

Love you so very much my sweet Angel.
xxx

Aug7

Driving to Caernarfon

Posted on August 7, 2015 by MeRaw

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Friday 7th August

An early start via Starbucks for the essential morning cappuccino, then we’re on our way to Wales, crossing the Severn Bridge. We’re on our way to Snowdon. For you.

Google Maps said the journey would take four hours. I picked out Builth Wells as a half way stop for a break, and that did work out at a little over two hours.

Driving along, we rounded a bend, and came across a superb display of sunflowers, with all the faces happily turned towards the sun. It was as if you were standing on the roadside, waving us along on our way. It did bring tears to our eyes. Lots of simple things seem to do that these days. Things that remind us of you.

The second half of the journey took much longer, as we were stuck behind slower traffic. We finally rolled into Caernarfon about three thirty, six hours after setting off. Early dinner and a cold beer were very welcome, followed by a stroll around the castle.

Caernarfon Castle

This is the first time in one hundred and twenty one days that we haven’t visited you at your resting place. But I feel your presence with us somehow. We have brought you along, and will take you up the mountain tomorrow. You are in our hearts, always. Plus, your toy dolphin slept on our hotel bed last night, and is here again tonight. I will put him in my backpack and walk him to the very top of Mount Snowdon. Of that you can be certain.

Sending kisses to Heaven.
Love you forever my Angel.
xxxx

Aug6

On our way to Wales

Posted on August 6, 2015 by MeRaw

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Thursday 6th August

We came to see you first thing this morning, and placed new flowers in the vases. The sunflowers are still going strong, looking amazing, so I left those with you.

We are on our way to Wales, to climb Mount Snowdon in your memory, with a large group of people ~ survivors and family members ~ for the annual testicular cancer trek. Me, Dad and my sister will reach the summit, whatever it takes.

We have you in our hearts, as always.
I also have your photograph, a large banner, t-shirts with your name, flags, and a soft toy dolphin that used to lie on your bed.

Two years ago today we were down in Islamorada, and had lunch at Robbie’s Marina. My brother and his wife came to stay for a few days, so we visited as many places as possible altogether. The fish tacos at Robbie’s are the best.

Frank at Robbie's Marina

We had spent the morning at Bahia Honda State Park, swimming and walking around. I remember the beautiful butterflies and the green and black iguanas. You had fun chasing them, and then had a good time playing in the sea with Dad.

Last year, on this day we were at Aquatica and you had such a wonderful time. Ihu’s Breakaway Falls had just opened as a new ride, and you just had to try it out ~ three times, one go after another. We swam in the surf pool, had fun on the family tube ride, and spent ages on the river rapids.

Aquatica August 2014

August was always a time for family fun, holidays and adventures. So many happy memories.

We will take you with us, wherever we go, for as long as we can.

Love you forever my sweetheart.
Dearest Angel son.
xxxx

Aug5

Nan’s birthday

Posted on August 5, 2015 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 5th August

Today was Nan’s birthday, although for the past twenty or so years, we would not be with her, but off on our holidays. We would normally be on a beach or in a theme park. In fact, in 2012 we had gone to Ocala to the Don Garlits Museum of Drag Racing and then Silver Springs. I think you preferred the alligators to the cars.

Normally we would have a little get-together before we flew away to exchange cards and gifts. This year we celebrated with her, but without you. It was a birthday tinged with sadness. You were her first grandchild, and she loved you dearly and misses you so much.

I know you would have given her a big hug and a kiss, and wished her many happy returns.

We miss you.
Such a lot.
We love you to infinity and beyond.
Our darling son.
xxxx

Aug4

Another butterfly

Posted on August 4, 2015 by MeRaw

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Tuesday 4th August

A different butterfly flew down to your flowers today when we came to your graveside.
You again?
Letting us know that you are still with us?
I would love to think so.

“They whom we love and lose
Are no longer where they were before.
They are now……
Wherever we are.”

How true are those words?
You are now with us, forever, wherever we happen to be.
You’re in our hearts, always in our thoughts, all around us, all the time.

Missing you so much.
Love you my StarMan.
Angel kisses xxxxx