Category Archives: chemotherapy

Foraging

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Wednesday 13th April

This morning your brother and his girlfriend drove us and their dog across the border into Portugal, to Campo Maior. A quaint little town, where we stopped for coffee and pastries, then on to the large lake, towards the west.
It is here that the pair of them go fishing or kite surfing, but today’s purpose was to find and collect wild asparagus.
This delicacy grows mostly at the base of trees, amongst brambles and prickly thistles.
Whilst dad and I walked down to the lake shore, with the dog bounding and running around like a mad thing, your brother and girlfriend were foraging for the elusive vegetable.
After about three quarters of an hour, they appeared with big grins on their faces, and were most pleased to have found a good amount of the tasty stems.
So, asparagus as a side dish it is, for the next few meals.

I think you would have enjoyed the walk; all that fresh air, and peace and quiet.

Missing you always.
Loving you forever.
Darling Angel son.

xxxxxxx

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A gnarly old tree in the meadow

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Thistle

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View down to the lake

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Meadow of wildflowers

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Danko

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Frankie Angel Bear amongst the meadow wildflowers

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Frankie Angel Bear on top of the car

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Dad and your brother enjoying a beer

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Some of tonight's asparagus

Precious, sweet Angel

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Tuesday 12th April

Living every day in the moment.
At times walking through a minefield;
Treading softly, or marching purposely.
Memories are dotted everywhere.
Some are hidden deep from view,
Some are just below the surface.
Not knowing which, when or how
One of those memories will explode,
Setting off a flood of emotions.
You can’t explain, you don’t know why;
Simply unable to find the right words.
Tears stream down, uncontrollably,
As a moment in time is recalled.
Or a big, knowing smile spreads
As happy exploits come to the fore.
You are there, forever and always
In my head, my heart and my soul.
And any second I am reminded of you,
Wonderful, but bittersweet memories.
Love you my precious, sweet Angel.

xxxxxxx

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Yellow flowers in the garden

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The sky this evening

Every single minute

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Monday 11th April

Our younger son has reliably informed us that February and March in Spain, were unusually warm with bright-blue sky days.
So, we arrive, and bring cooler temperatures and rain.
Never mind, it is good to see him.

But, I have missed you.
I am missing you.

Every single minute.
You are always in my thoughts.

I love you.
I love you so very much.

That you’re not here, hurts.
It hurts so very much.

It doesn’t seem real.
And it doesn’t seem right.

Every single minute
You’re there in my heart.

Beloved Angel son.
Gone far too soon.

xxxxxxx

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Wisteria in the garden

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A dark and fiery sky tonight, driving back from the stores

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More rain on the way

Ever

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Sunday 10th April

“No matter where I go,
I take you with me in my heart.
No one could ever replace you.
Ever.”

We spend a quiet day with your brother and his girlfriend; walking around the old town of Badajoz, sipping coffee in the square, marvelling at the intricate mosaic work on the buildings, and ambling through the gardens of the Alcazaba.

Love you sweetie.
With me always.

xxxxxxx

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The gardens of the old castle

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Wooden doors with an old coat of arms above

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The cobbled walkway

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Plaza Alta

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Sundown this evening

I know you’re somewhere

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Saturday 9th April

This morning’s sunrise was so beautiful, as I watched it rise above the rooftops in the east.
And I thought of you.

We spent the morning at Lisbon Oceanarium: it was your brother’s choice. And a good one it was, too.
You have been to many wonderful aquariums, in Townsville, Australia, Myrtle Beach, USA, and Plymouth, UK, to name a few. You did like the ocean creatures and were fascinated by sharks, dolphins, penguins and rays.
I think you would have liked today. So much to see in the massive central tank, with many, many other exhibits and ocean life branching out from the main attraction.

After lunch, we drove east, into Spain, to your brother’s girlfriend’s house.

I really wish you could be here with all of us, but I suppose you are in spirit. And I’ll hold you close.

I know you’re somewhere.

Sweetheart.
Dearest Angel son.

xxxxxxx

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This morning's sunrise from the hotel

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Oceanário de Lisboa

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Dad and I standing beneath a waterfall

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A strange looking sunfish

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Fabulous tropical fish

A day at the beach

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Friday 8th April

After breakfast this morning, dad and I walked a mile and a half to the Corte Inglés (an up-market department store), for a Starbucks. A lovely stroll in the sunshine.

At twelve thirty, almost on the dot, your brother and his girlfriend arrived, picked us up from the hotel, and drove south out of Lisbon to a quiet beach area called Praia da Fonte da Telha. We had lunch and a few beers at a superb restaurant, then sat on the sand watching the kite and wind surfers. A fabulous way to spend a few hours.

I’m not sure you would have enjoyed this evening, though: probably far too late for you ~ we didn’t go out until eight thirty, sat down to order dinner at ten, and returned to the hotel just before midnight. Portuguese and Spanish people do eat late.
You would always have your dinner at six, on the dot. Such a hard and fastened routine for you. But it was what you had become used to.

Thinking of you every step of the way.
Love you so very much.
Missing you always.

xxxxxxx

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The beach bar sandy seating area

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A terrific setting for lunch

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Dad, your brother and I

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Smiling in the sunshine

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Frankie Angel Bear on the sand dunes

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A quiet spot

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Roam the roads of lands remote

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Thursday 7th April

“To move, to breathe, to fly, to float,
To roam the roads of lands remote,
To travel is to live.”

          ~ Hans Christian Andersen

A year ago it was the church service in honour of your short, but amazing life.
A whole year ago.

The post from a year ago today

And here we are in sunny Lisbon, looking out over the terracotta rooftops.
We’ll meet up with your brother and his girlfriend tomorrow.

We’ve brought you with us, though. You are here in spirit my darling.

I’m sure you’d like the bustling, busy city. You’d have to be careful crossing the roads though, as the drivers seem quite manic. U-turns, sudden stops, swerving in front of on-coming traffic, stopping in the middle of the road; you have to watch your step.

Love you so very much.
Thinking of you today and always.
Missing you like crazy.
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxxx

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Looking over the terracotta rooftops

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Statue outside our hotel (beautiful blue sky)

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Sunset at the end of the road

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The cobbled road, leading to the statue near our hotel. Strangely devoid of traffic

Ready to go

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Wednesday 6th April

We’re almost ready to go.
The bags are packed,
The paperwork is ready.

Dad has your toothbrush,
And Frankie Angel Bear
Is coming along too.

We’re taking you with us,
Off to Portugal and Spain.
To stay with your brother.

I love you sweetheart,
And you’re safe in my heart
As we go off on our travels.

xxxxxxx

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There’s a smile on my face

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Tuesday 5th April

There’s a smile on my face,
But pain in my heart.
Silent sorrow envelopes me;
You meant so very much.

Constantly missing you,
Forever loving you,
Thinking of you every day.
I’ll find you in my dreams.

Memories pop up,
Out of nowhere.
You’ll never be forgotten,
But I wish you were still here.

You touched our lives
In a myriad of ways.
And it’s those thoughts
That keep us close to you.

Living without you
Is the hardest part.
Everything has changed;
Life will never be the same.

My life continues,
But I think of what was,
And what now
Can never, ever be.

But there is a smile……
Not always, not every day,
But it is there,
When I remember you.

Love you my Angel.
Beloved son.

xxxxxxx

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A peaceful morning, standing beside you

My son is my Angel

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Monday 4th April

My son is my Angel,
But I didn’t want it that way,
Didn’t expect it to be like this,
Living with grief day by day.

My son is my Angel,
He’s now looking out for me,
Smiling down from up above,
But here’s where he should be.

My son is my Angel,
My darling, my precious one,
I’ll miss you forever and a day,
My love can never be undone.

My son is my Angel

xxxxxxx

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