Monday 6th July
Here we go again ~ another 250 mile round trip to the hospital where I am taking part in a clinical trial using a combination of drugs in the adjuvant treatment of stage 3 malignant melanoma.
Today I see the most wonderful plastic surgeon who carried out a left groin dissection in November 2013, to remove lymph nodes at the top of my leg. I have a 20cm scar, which has faded almost to nothing, and a couple of smaller scars where the drain tube exited further down my thigh. He was pleased with the healing, and asked about the groovy support stocking and lymphoedema that I now have. I said it was a small price to pay if he had removed all the cancerous cells.
The drive home was unusually slow, with lots of holiday traffic, caravans, lorries, tractors and wide loads on the dual carriageway. We took almost an hour longer than our normal two hours. Plus the rain didn’t help matters.
We stopped in at the cemetery. No one else was about; it was a bit grey and wet. We talked to you as we always do, whilst tidying up the flowers. It still doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t seem right or fair, that my cancer treatment is working for me, and yet your treatment failed you. Why? Why? Why?
Missing you so much today.
Love you forever.