Category Archives: Brother

Jun30

I must try

Posted on June 30, 2016 by MeRaw

Thursday 30th June

I must try,
I must learn,
Not to live without you,
But to live with
The love,
The memories,
The precious moments,
You left behind.

But I’ll never really
Get used to
Being without you.
It’s so hard
To face the fact
That you’re gone.
You’re not coming back.

What we’ve lost
Cannot be returned.
So we look around
Trying to see signs
That you’re close by.
To find you
In what remains.

Loving you forever
Missing you every day
Thinking of you constantly
Trying to put a smile on my face
When there are tears in my heart.

xxxxxx

The view with dinner, through the doorway, across the terrace, to the harbour

Dinner with Dad and your brother

Low tide and grey skies

Jun9

You should be here

Posted on June 9, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 9th June

Such painful, sad, bittersweet memories this morning.
Your brother flying home from Spain, and us picking him up from Bristol.
The last time this happened, Dad took you in the car to the airport.

As we stood by your grave in the sunshine, we remembered that day.
Because on that fateful evening, after you all arrived safely home
You went up to our bed, for a sleep, and didn’t wake up again.

I tried. I tried so hard to save you. I held your still-warm body in my arms.
But I couldn’t bring you back; you slipped slowly away.
We didn’t have a chance to say one last goodnight, love you sweetie.

And so this morning, when we visited you, it all came back.
We talked to you, we cried, sobbed. We told you we loved you.
This isn’t right, you should be here with us, driving to collect your brother.

Love you so much my darling.
Beloved Angel son.

xxxxxx

May31

My sweet boys

Posted on May 31, 2016 by MeRaw

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Tuesday 31st May

My sweet boys
Precious sons
Adorable brothers.

One on earth
One in heaven.

Both mine
To treasure
Forever.

Love you both
With all my heart
Moon and back.

xxxxxxx

Australia, September 1991

The view from your bedroom this evening

Apr27

An age ago

Posted on April 27, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 27th April

I’ve been spending time trying to clear out cupboards of accumulated clutter. I can only go for so long, as I keep finding little mementos of you: birthday cards, glasses, awards, toys, key chains, and oh so many photographs.
These make me stop and think of all the good times we spent together for over thirty years.
And then I have to shut the cupboard doors before I start fighting back the tears.
But I had to smile when I came across this photograph of us. We had not long arrived in Australia, and had gone to visit dad at his work, although your brother does look rather shy.

You, me and your brother. HMAS Cerberus. 1990

Me and my darling boys
Seems like an age ago.
Full of life, love and joys
Smile for the family photo.

Love you my darling Angel son.
Missing you every single day.
Wish you were here, precious one
In my heart is where you stay.

xxxxxxx

Cold and chilly in the harbour

A pretty sky this evening

Apr21

Leaving

Posted on April 21, 2016 by MeRaw

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Thursday 21st April

Today we say goodbye to our younger son and his girlfriend. Having spent fifteen days in Spain with them both, we went off to Lisbon by coach, ready to fly tomorrow.

Before leaving, we stopped in Elvas, a frontier, fortress town, built within twelve-point star-shaped walls. We walked up and down narrow cobbled streets, peering into shop windows selling embroidered linens, silk flowers, and even cockatiels and lovebirds. Nearly all the buildings are whitewashed, with yellow ochre accents.
A coffee and pastry at a pavement cafe, time spent people watching and listening to the local sounds, made for a very pleasant morning.

The coach journey, (the first one we have made, since I don’t know when), was very comfortable. We drove through rolling countryside, covered with vineyards, olive groves, cork trees with stripped trunks, leaving a deep iron-oxide, rich brown colour, and fields of cows and sheep. The land is certainly well utilised.

The hotel, The Lisboa Tryp is excellent, and a short walk tomorrow morning to departures.

So there we are, the end of our non-sunny, Spanish sojourn.
You would have enjoyed this break, I’m sure. You loved travelling to anywhere new, taking in different cultures, language and food.
I miss you so much not being with us.
It’s just so very different.

Sweet dreams sweetheart.
Travel far and wide.
Love you forever.
My Angel son.

xxxxxxx

Arched entrance to the fortified town of Elvas

One of the many churches

Ancient doorway

Steep cobbled street

The main shopping street

Cappuccino at a pavement cafe

Beautiful cobbled walkways with ironwork balconies above

Entrance into the town, for pedestrians and vehicles

Part of the towns' walls

Apr20

The rain

Posted on April 20, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 20th April

The rain in Spain……..
Falls mainly in Badajoz!

Well, so it seems to be.
We keep being told that this weather pattern is just so unusual, that normally the skies are cloudless, with temperatures into the eighties.

Oh well, never mind, and all that…..
We have enjoyed our fifteen day break with our younger son and his girlfriend, and there have been some sunny days, not least his birthday last Sunday.

But all good things must come to an end, and we are off to Lisbon tomorrow lunchtime, for a flight back to England on Friday morning.

It would have been better though, to have had some warmer weather……. all those shorts, t-shirts, swimming costumes have remained in our suitcase. Oh, c’est la vie! or as they say it here….. ¡así es la vida!

You would forever be telling us: “Oh, you need rain to survive, the ground needs the rain for plants to grow, animals need need rain to drink, stop moaning!”

💧 ☔ 💦 💧 ☔ 💦 💧 ☔ 💦 💧 ☔ 💦

So, it’s ok to cry, the clouds do it too.
Raindrops play a beautiful lullaby boo.

In the rain, no one sees your tears.
Raindrops sparkle as the sun appears.

Let the rain wash away the pain.
It may be grey, but it can’t forever rain.

Love you my sweetheart.
Dearest Angel son.
Missing you every day.

xxxxxxx

Rosebud and raindrops

Silk rose on the dining table

Tonight's sky

Apr19

A walk in the rain

Posted on April 19, 2016 by MeRaw

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Tuesday 19th April

A walk in the rain,
Smile through the pain.

The wind on my face,
Thoughts are someplace.

Your photo is with me,
Such a happy memory.

A piece of me, missing,
Time spent reminiscing.

An ache in my heart,
Our family torn apart.

Three of us carrying on,
Each other to rely upon.

Dad and I, your brother too,
Holding on, pulling through.

Loving you, my Angel son,
Now to be, forever young.

xxxxxxx

Morning coffee, watching a gaggle of geese in the rain

Alburquerque castle walls in the mist

An ancient archway

The view should have been spectacular

Apr17

A birthday

Posted on April 17, 2016 by MeRaw

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Sunday 17th April

Today we celebrated your brother’s twenty ninth birthday.
I accompanied his girlfriend and sister this morning and went to church; the whole service was in Spanish, but it felt like a good thing to do.

We then drove to a karting circuit, where your brother, his girlfriend, her sister and brother spent a great time, racing one another round the tracks.

From lunchtime until early evening, a bbq had been arranged; the weather was beautiful, the food plentiful, the company wonderful. I just wish you had been there in person, my darling.

Missing you every single day.
Love you forever.
Precious Angel son.
xxxxxxx

Frankie Angel Bear and your brother

Apr13

Foraging

Posted on April 13, 2016 by MeRaw

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Wednesday 13th April

This morning your brother and his girlfriend drove us and their dog across the border into Portugal, to Campo Maior. A quaint little town, where we stopped for coffee and pastries, then on to the large lake, towards the west.
It is here that the pair of them go fishing or kite surfing, but today’s purpose was to find and collect wild asparagus.
This delicacy grows mostly at the base of trees, amongst brambles and prickly thistles.
Whilst dad and I walked down to the lake shore, with the dog bounding and running around like a mad thing, your brother and girlfriend were foraging for the elusive vegetable.
After about three quarters of an hour, they appeared with big grins on their faces, and were most pleased to have found a good amount of the tasty stems.
So, asparagus as a side dish it is, for the next few meals.

I think you would have enjoyed the walk; all that fresh air, and peace and quiet.

Missing you always.
Loving you forever.
Darling Angel son.

xxxxxxx

A gnarly old tree in the meadow

Thistle

View down to the lake

Meadow of wildflowers

Danko

Frankie Angel Bear amongst the meadow wildflowers

Frankie Angel Bear on top of the car

Dad and your brother enjoying a beer

Some of tonight's asparagus

Apr10

Ever

Posted on April 10, 2016 by MeRaw

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Sunday 10th April

“No matter where I go,
I take you with me in my heart.
No one could ever replace you.
Ever.”

We spend a quiet day with your brother and his girlfriend; walking around the old town of Badajoz, sipping coffee in the square, marvelling at the intricate mosaic work on the buildings, and ambling through the gardens of the Alcazaba.

Love you sweetie.
With me always.

xxxxxxx